Goodbye

This post is probably the most difficult one I’ve written. It’s a decision upon which I have reflected, prayed and wrestled for almost a year. Yet, as time passes, I am increasingly convinced that it’s time to close the door on this blog.

I began this blog in March 2003 as our family left professional ministry and embarked on a journey of theological exploration. This blog has recorded our joys and struggles as we explored a different form of Christian community. It has allowed me to deconstruct and reconstruct my theology and wrestle with my new identity outside of professional ministry. It has marked special events in our family’s life. And recently, it has recorded our family’s journey into the Holy Orthodox Church.

So why am I ending this blog?

There are a several reasons, but I won’t bore you with the details. Ultimately I believe I’m entering a time when my voice needs to be silent. For me, this blog has been a platform to share what I’ve learned and experienced as well as serving as a catalyst for conversations beyond my local relationships. During the past seven years, I have thoroughly enjoyed writing as well as participating in the conversations that various posts have sparked. I am blessed by the number of people who have contacted me to share their stories. I’m always startled by God’s grace and love in the midst of every person’s journey, struggles and joys. I feel like I was blessed with the rare opportunities to witness firsthand the remarkable transformations of faith as people searched for something deeper and more meaningful than their current church experiences.

But it’s now time for me to be quiet. And I had a choice to make. I could have simply stopped writing posts and let this blog fade away. However, as I’ve grown a bit older, I’ve realized that marking significant events has become increasingly important to me.

This blog has been a very n0table part of my life and I would have regretted not marking my decision to end it. This blog has sustained me for the last several years. It has been my journal and sounding board, allowing me to process my wounds, my theology and my journey. There are probably as many unpublished posts as published ones. But the discipline of writing all of them with prayer, reflection and discernment has been an essential part of the overall formative process in my journey. So because this blog has meant so much to me, I need closure.

As I say goodbye to this blog, some thanks are in order. First, I want to thank everyone who participated in our house church community — Mark, Barbara, Dan, Kerri, David, Jennifer, Angela, Gary, Anne, Thomas, Erika, Billy, Carol, Alan, Maribeth, Debbie and all of the kids and friends who been part of our extended family.

I also want to thank Steve for being a great friend and pastor to me through those house church years. And I want to thank David for being such a profound influence in my movement toward Orthodoxy.

While this blog comes to an end, my life-goals remain the same. I simply want to be a good man, husband, father and friend. I want to embody, demonstrate and announce Christ’s life and love to the best of my abilities. I want to incarnate Christ’s presence in a simple, quiet way to the people I love so that they may grow and excel in God’s life. In some small way, I want to follow St Seraphim of Sarov’s words, “Acquire a peaceful spirit, and around you thousands will be saved.”

I want to thank all of you who have taken time to read my posts, leave comments, say prayers for my family, and be a little part of our journey. May God lead you ever further into his life, love and likeness.

Goodbye.

Bridegroom Hymn

During the last two evenings, our family has attended the Bridegroom Matins. These are such beautiful services, immersing us ever-deeper into Holy Week. One of the hymns we sing during these services is absolutely breathtaking. It succinctly captures the pathos of the Lenten journey of joyful repentance as well as the brilliant hope of Christ’s resurrection that awaits us at the culmination of Holy Week.

“I behold Thy bridal chamber richly adorned, O my Savior; but I have no wedding garment to worthily enter. Make radiant the garment of my soul, O Giver of Light, and save me.”

I’ve attached a short clip of our congregation singing the hymn:

Happy 18th Birthday, Michael!

Wow! Today, my oldest child, Michael, turns 18 years old! It has been such an honor watching Michael grow up. I’m astonished by his stellar character. He’s compassionate and thoughtful. He takes his faith very seriously. And he’s very intelligent and creative. I’m filled with such joy when I watch him serve at the altar in our parish.

As Michael quickly approaches his high school graduation, both he and our family are aware of the many changes we face. I know these changes are inevitable and are good for all of us. But I also know that I will deeply miss the unique family dynamics that we’ve enjoyed the past several years.

Michael, I love you more than my words and actions have expressed. You are an amazing person and  being your dad fills me daily with joy. Happy Birthday, Michael! May God grant you many years!

What the Holy Spirit Shows Us

I follow Jason Barker at Orthodoxresource.com. His site is a wonderful repository of Orthodox quotes. I especially enjoyed today’s quote by St Innocent of Alaska:

“But when the Holy Spirit dwells in the heart of a person, He shows him all his inner poverty and weakness, and the corruption of his heart and soul, and his separation from God; and with all his virtues and righteousness. He shows him his sins, his sloth and indifference regarding the salvation and good of people, his self-seeking in his apparently most disinterested virtues, his coarse selfishness even where he does not suspect it. To be brief, the Holy Spirit shows him everything as it really is.”

As a former charismatic and as one who still associates with people in the movement, I have claimed and still hear claims about things that the Holy Spirit has supposedly revealed. Needless to say, much of it is simply distorted passions run amuck in the guise of a prophetic voice.

But Jesus called the Holy Spirit the Spirit of Truth. And if He is dwelling and working in us toward our salvation, then wouldn’t He show us what is true, especially about ourselves? Wouldn’t He illumine the dark crevices of our souls with the brilliance of Truth, replacing delusion with Reality? And that Reality would be our continuous and desperate need for Jesus and His kingdom.

Fr Stephen & “The Existence of God”

Do you hear the crack of the bat and the screaming crowds? You should. That’s because Fr Stephen had hit another one out of the park! His excellent post on “The Existence of God” is a must-read. Here’s a couple of paragraphs that made me want to shout “Amen!”

“We are living in a time of history in which saints are required. We have long passed the time in which rational arguments will carry the day. Nothing less than lives which manifest the existence of God will do. The world has heard centuries of arguments – has been subjected to crass persecutions and atrocities in the name of God (even if these were largely not the result of Orthodox actions). We have survived a century of extremes (Bolshevism, Nazism, etc.). That the world is hungry is beyond doubt. But the world is not hungry for a new and winning argument. The world hungers for God (whether it knows this or not).

“The proper Christian answer to the hunger of the world is to be found only in the manifestation of God. Thus the challenge of a modern atheist should not be met with an anxious rejoinder from our panoply of arguments – but with the urgency of prayer that we might ourselves become an answer through the reality of the presence of God in our lives.”

Fr Stephen is absolutely correct. The proper answer to questions of God’s existence are not logical arguments but living examples of God, embodied and incarnated in normal human lives. That’s why I believe the core of being “missional” is first and foremost theosis. Humans are designed to be God’s image, reflecting him into the world. Christ provides both the way and the example of being God’s image in human form. We must become like him for the sake of the world.

Space: 2099

Back in the 1970s, during my youth, I used to love a British SciFi series called Space: 1999. The premise was that on September 13, 1999, the nuclear waste being stored on the moon exploded, knocking the moon out of its orbit, hurtling it and the inhabitants of Moonbase Alpha into outer space.

I loved everything about the show — the flared-leg costumes, the Eagle Transporters, the transportation tubes, the stun guns, even the cheesy 1970s theme music.

So imagine my delight when I learned of Space: 2099! No, it’s not a remake like J.J. Abram’s Star Trek or SciFi Channel’s Battlestar Galactica. Rather, Eric Bernard has rebooted Space: 1999 by condensing each original episode of Space: 1999 into a 2-3 minute episode. He’s also added more special effects and edited the dialogue so that all of the original characters say “2099″ instead of “1999.” You can watch all of the new episodes HERE.

It’s the “perfect storm” convergence of my nostalgia and geekiness. Memories of my brother and I playing with the Moonbase Alpha Adventure Playset cascaded my mind. That Adventure Playset was pure awesomeness! The entire set, including cast and aliens, was assembled out of punchout fiberboard and occupied hours of imaginative playtime. I also remember playing with my Space: 1999 Stun Gun Water Gun. That was one fun summer!

But soon nostalgia gave way to reflection. As a SciFi geek, I’m fascinated with the various visions of the future that the genre offers, especially since many of the visions are really attempts to address contemporary social and political issues. Lately, I’ve been wondering about what is generating so many horrific post-apocalyptic visions of the future in recent months – Terminator: Salvation, 9, Daybreakers, 2012, Avatar, and The Book of Eli. As a culture, have we become so cynical that we can only envision a devastated future? In the new movie, Legion, even the ever-patient, all-loving God is now depicted as the ultimate cynic, completely giving up on humanity and sending his demonic-looking angels to wipe us out.

Frankly, I’m getting tired of watching visions of the future that are either inhabited by zombies, vampires or killer automatons or filled with images of natural disasters and post-apocalyptic devastation. It’s boring.

I’m not necessarily looking for movies that depict an utopian vision. It’s just that global hopelessness is becoming too cliche for the genre.

Fr Gregory & “Certitude, Doubt and the Virtue of Faith”

Fr Gregory answers an email, discussing the virtue of faith as well as the dynamic between certainty and faith. It’s a good read and I absolutely love the summarizing paragraphs:

“For St Gregory Nyssa, to wrap this up, this is the source of human perfectablity.  We are in a constant state of change, and so we are forever imperfect.  This however is not due to any lack on our part but is inherent in being a creature and it our changeability that makes it possible for to grow in perfection, that is become like God Who does not change.  We can only become like the Unchanging God, that is perfect, to the degree that we are willing to change “and change frequently” in Gregory’s formulation.

“To the degree that I imagine I have intellectual certitude–that is that now I understand God or the Christian life in an exhaustive sense–to that degree I am a fool and living not by faith but something else entirely.  A life of faith requires that I am constantly changing, growing and re-evaluating myself and my life not only in the Light of the Unchanging God but also the ever changing circumstances in which I (quite literally) find myself.”

Living As God’s Image

Living as the image of God is what it means to be truly human. We were created in the image of God and it has always been God’s intention that humanity would mature into the fullness of this image, which is fully embodied and demonstrated by Christ.

While this intention might seem impossible, we are never called to live like anything else. Our attempts to live as something else is the core of our corruption and distortion. Therefore, our healing and renewal, along with the entirety of creation, occurs as we relearn how to live as God’s image during the course of our normal daily lives.

The question that looms before us is “How do we do this?” After almost 25 years as a Christian, I am convinced that the Orthodox Church possesses both the fullest theological paradigm and practical process for learning how to incarnate Christ’s life and presence on earth.

This is why I resonate so much with a quote from Met Jonah that I recently posted. The primary reason for my joining the Orthodox Church is because I believe it is the Way to Christ’s likeness. And while I believe the Orthodox Church is the historical and apostolic church, for me that matters only in that it has helped the Orthodox Church to preserve the Way through the centuries.

A recent post by Fr Gregory Jensen has further stimulated my personal reflections. He succinctly summarizes his reflections about the future of Orthodoxy in America:

“Objective teaching about the Gospel, the Church’s worship (especially the Eucharist), and the human heart, all converge in Jesus Christ and the fruit of that encounter is the desire to evangelize, to bear witness to what we know personally. All four of these elements must be present. Where I suspect we have gone wrong is to neglect the formation of the human heart.”

I love Orthodoxy and all of its beauty. I love its history, its theology, its liturgy and its sacraments. Sure there are still points of contention that arise when my past Evangelical Protestant theology, practices and values are confronted with those of Orthodoxy’s. But I’m at home in Orthodoxy, even if my new home still stirs feelings of culture shock and homesickness now and then.

This is why I was thrilled to come across an essay by Met Jonah through Fr Stephen’s blog. The essay is entitled, “Do Not Resent, Do Not React, Keep Inner Stillness.” For me, this essay was a reminder and a refocus. It encapsulates the trajectory of my Christian life just prior to leaving professional ministry and my journey ever since. I still believe that as human beings created in God’s image, we are to join God in his mission to nurture and renew humanity and creation toward the fulfillment of his intentions. For me, this is what the last line of the Creed conveys, “I look for the resurrection of the dead and the Life of the world to come.” This line is not conveying a passive waiting, but an active anticipation as we lean into and live toward that future based on everything the Creed has previously affirmed.

So we live into God’s future, actively participating in God’s mission toward that future primarily by learning to be and live as God’s image. In so doing, we experience the healing and restoration of our human nature from which true embodied and everlasting love and goodness flow.

If you’re interested, you can also hear an hour-long lecture of the same material by Met Jonah on Ancient Faith Radio, entitled “The Spiritual Process.”

And if you’re interested in going a even further, there is also a five-part lecture series on the Met Jonah’s material at Icon New Media Network:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, & Part 5

Fr Stephen & “Remember God Always”

Sometimes I think my blog is simply a pointer to Fr Stephen Freeman’s blog. And that isn’t really such a bad thing since virtually all of his posts are “must -reads.” This one in particular is a great example. It’s a wonderful reminder of the daily journey toward our salvation and how that journey actually occurs. Please take a moment and read his post.

Life, Death and the Nativity

Last night was a terribly sad night. I found out that a friend, whom I haven’t seen in several years, died of Leukemia. From what I understand, he fought well and graciously. Yet, in the end, he leaves behind a wife and two kids to grieve and to journey through this earthly life without him. My friend was a caring, intelligent and worshipful man and he will be missed.

News of his death came via email as I was walking out of Vespers already filled with sadness as my two youngest children made their confessions in preparation for the Feast of the Nativity. The Sacrament of Repentance is a somber moment for me and it’s magnified when my children experience it. I’m not naive about my children’s sinfulness. I know intellectually and experientially that they are distorted and corrupted by sin. Yet as their father, it breaks my heart knowing their lives will be filled with the brokenness and agony of sin. As they journey through life, they will experience the regrets and results of their own destructive actions, words and thoughts. And while I can coach and nurture them, they will still bear the scars of death and sin.

Held within a vacuum, my friend’s death and my children’s (and my own) sins can easily yield to hopelessness. But we don’t live in a vacuum. In fact, these events converge while the Feast of the Nativity looms ever closer and the words of the Apolytikon of the Forefeast of the Nativity, which we sang all weekend, continue to resound in my thoughts:

Be thou ready, O Bethlehem; for Eden hath been opened for all. Prepare, O Ephratha; for the Tree of life hath blossomed forth in the cave from the Virgin; for her belly did appear as a noetic paradise in which is planted the divine Plant, whereof eating we shall live and not die as Adam. Verily, Christ shall be born, raising the likeness that fell of old.

I love the imagery of this hymn! The Tree of Life, which became inaccessible after the Fall, is again available to all. And this Tree has blossomed in the most unlikely place — from the womb of a young virgin in a smelly cave in Bethlehem. As we feast on this divine Plant, which is Christ, the effects of the Fall are reversed and death gives way to Life.

This is the vivid Reality in which death and sin are experienced. The final Word belongs to Life. “Verily, Christ shall be born, raising the likeness that fell of old.” We aren’t simply given a status of “righteousness” as though painted with a thin coat of whitewash. Rather, our very nature is reconstituted within the life and likeness of Christ. As St Paul states, “So if anyone is in Christ, New Creation!”

I absolutely love that! As we live in Christ, feasting upon him, who is the Tree of Life, we are being recreated into the human versions of God’s New Creation. And we confidently know that the One who began this good work of re-creation in us will bring it to completion until the Day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6). God became man so that man might become god.

This truth doesn’t diminish or assuage the grief and loss of my friend’s death nor of our own experiences of sin. In fact, death is currently allowed to coexist with Life. (Remember, even Christ’s birth was accompanied by Herod’s horrific murder of children.) But this truth does lift our sight, reminding us that there is exceedingly more beyond death and sin. And though it may be through tears and pain, we can join St Paul in proclaiming, “Death has been swallowed up in victory. ‘Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?’”

Great Quote About Converting to Orthodoxy

I had heard the following quote in the recording of the lecture by Met Jonah. But I was reminded of it when I visited Steve Robinson’s blog. This is a great quote to use in a catechumen class. But it’s also a great reminder for the recently converted. I’m quickly approaching the one-year mark of my conversion and this quote is a very timely reminder of why I chose to become an Orthodox Christian.

“This process of becoming Orthodox is not something that you can do just after 6 months of catechesis and a little bit of chrism on your forehead. It’s a life-long process, because it’s being transformed into Christ. And if we can keep our focus that coming into the Orthodox Church is not about joining a new organization; it’s not joining ‘the right church’; it’s not ‘joining the historical church or the apostolic church’; or it’s not ‘joining the right church instead the wrong church that I was in.’

“But rather, it’s an entrance deeper and deeper into the mystery of Christ. Then I think we’re on the right track. Because otherwise all we’re doing is getting stuck in our heads and caught up in judgment and condemnation. In other words, we’re just stuck in our passions and we might as well have not converted anyway, because we still haven’t left the world behind.

“Our task is to incarnate that life in Christ that is not of this world. We have to be in the world, but not of it.”

I believe Met Jonah is absolutely correct. Joining the Orthodox Church is not simply about finding and joining “the right church,” “the true church,” or “the historical church.” At its core, my decision to join Orthodoxy was about its vibrant fullness of the Christian faith that will ultimately enable me and others to incarnate Christ’s life in this world. I must not lose sight of this vision.

A Shaving of Wood

I came across a wonderful quote by St Theophan the Recluse. It provides a constant reminder of my inward condition. As one who enjoys theologizing and writing, I must be ever-aware that my words and thoughts easily evaporate into nothing. He says:

Most people are like a shaving of wood which is curled round its central emptiness.

Baptism Anniversary

Three years ago today, I had one of the most meaningful and fulfilling experiences as a father — I performed my kids’ baptism.

The baptism took place at the Live Oak Vineyard, where we had been attending for awhile. I want to thank Pastor Steve and Pastor Floyd again for letting this ex-pastor have one last “pastoral fling” and baptize his children.

I wrote about the experience HERE. I also posted a video of the baptism HERE.

Little did I know that our spiritual journey as a family would soon take us around a corner and into the Orthodox Church.

As I mentioned in my original post about my children’s baptism, the event is a powerful reminder to me that my children belong to Christ first and foremost. He will always be with them, even when I cannot.

And the event is also a reminder that my children are part of Christ’s Church. I am moved during Divine Liturgy when I watch my kids receive the Eucharist. I am thrilled by the knowledge that they will grow up in the fullness of Christ’s life that resides in the Orthodox Church.

There is a beautiful prayer in the Orthodox Prayer Book that I use when I pray for my kids. It summarizes their baptism and everything I could desire for them as their father:

O God, our heavenly Father, Who lovest mankind, and art most merciful and compassionate, have mercy upon our children, Thy servants, for whom I humbly pray Thee, and commend them to Thy gracious protection. Be Thou, O God, their guide and guardian in all their endeavors; lead them in the path of Thy truth, and draw them near to Thee, that they may lead a godly and righteous life in Thy love and fear; doing Thy will in all matters. Give them grace that they may be temperate, industrious, diligent, devout and charitable. Defend them against the assaults of the enemy, and grant them wisdom and strength to resist all temptation and corruption of this life; and direct them in the way of salvation, for the merits of Thy Son, our Savior Jesus Christ, and the intercessions of His Holy Mother, and Thy blessed saints. Amen.

Fr Ted & Tradition

In many Christian circles, the word “tradition” can evoke negative images. We might think of church board meetings where someone ultimately raises the argument, “But we’ve always done it this way.” We rarely think of tradition as something fresh and relevant for now. However, Fr Ted Bobosch does. And I agree wholeheartedly with him:

Tradition, like Scripture, is not  made holy by being carved into stone, but rather by being interpreted within a community, by being the heart of the community’s relationship to God and the world.  Tradition is thus alive and constantly relating to the world, not written in stone and frozen in some past understanding.  For St. Paul, Tradition is dynamic, creative, vivifying and renewing and keeps people focused on the goal – where God is leading us to, not the past and where we were.   Tradition is not the ship’s anchor, but its sail.   It consists not of repeating past teachings, but of interpreting God’s Word for the current generation.

Fr Ted then offers a lengthy quote by Sylvia C. Keesmaat that is worth reading. Bottom-line, Tradition sets our trajectory into the future. And “what gives a tradition its life is an effective interpretation for a new time and context.” This is worth some serious reflection.

Working Out Our Salvation

Debbie posted a comment with some good questions in my previous post that I wanted to address. Since, I knew my response would be lengthy, I chose to respond in a new post rather than in the comments. Also, I may not be the most reliable person to answer these questions. This is simply my personal opinion and everyone is welcome to disagree.

Fr Stephen Freeman has a great often-repeated quote, “Jesus did not die in order to make bad men good – He died to make dead men live.” In this statement, Fr Stephen touches upon the real issue of our sin and distortion. Spiritual death — sin, corruption and death — is the devastating result of humanity’s rebellion and separation from God. All of humanity and creation have become broken and distorted. A destructive disharmony exists between humanity and God, between humans themselves and between humanity and creation.

The primary issue is our estrangement from God and its subsequent spiritual death. We are separated from the very Source of Life and therefore our very nature as human beings has become corrupted.

Therefore, our salvation is the renewal of the image of God in us through restored communion with God. Jesus is our Savior because he first vanquishes the death and corruption that enslaves all creation at the cosmic level and then invites us to appropriate this reality at a personal level through a cooperative life with God that restores communion with God.

This cooperative life with God is described in various ways in the New Testament. Jesus described it as denying yourself and taking up your cross. St Peter called it “participating in the divine nature.” St Paul described it as taking off the old self with its practices and putting on the new self which is being renewed in the image of its creator. He described it in another place as offering our bodies to God as a living sacrifice by not being conformed to the pattern of this broken world and by being transformed through the renewal of our mind.

In other words, the key to salvation or transformation is a life immersed in God’s grace that progressively discards our old nature and acquires the new nature, which Christ fully embodied. In Orthodox theology, we call this theosis. Here’s a definition from Orthodoxwiki:

Theosis (“deification,” “divinization”) is the process of a worshiper becoming free of hamartía (“missing the mark”), being united with God, beginning in this life and later consummated in bodily resurrection. For Orthodox Christians, Théōsis (see 2 Pet. 1:4) is salvation. Théōsis assumes that humans from the beginning are made to share in the Life or Nature of the all-Holy Trinity. Therefore, an infant or an adult worshiper is saved from the state of unholiness (hamartía — which is not to be confused with hamártēma “sin”) for participation in the Life (zōé, not simply bíos) of the Trinity — which is everlasting.

Theosis is a divinely empowered transformation of our nature through participating in the Life of God.

So what does this look like in daily practice? Moving further from theology and closer to practice, it is a life consisting of two simultaneous dimensions — an ascetical dimension and a sacramental dimension — both lived out within the overall life of the Church.

The ascetical dimension is struggling against our passions (our evil and distorted desires) with God’s grace. This is much more than behavioral modification, as important as that may be. For example, in 1Corinthians 13, we read St Paul describing love as not being easily angered. And so, many people expend a lot of energy not displaying anger even though they may be seething internally. That is not love. St Paul is not making a list of proper Christian behavior nor a description of how to act lovingly. Rather, he’s painting a portrait of what divine love looks like in human form when a person is genuinely transformed into the very love that God is. And that can only occur with God’s divine power.

So the ascetical dimension is a life of fighting and struggling as we baby-step our passions into proper order. This is practiced in cooperation with God’s grace and preferably under the direction of a wise spiritual father and within the collective wisdom of the Church. This is why fasting is a primary and almost universal ascetical practice within the Church. It is a practice that Jesus taught and that the Church has honed through the centuries. So we infuse our lives with this discipline and these small steps, when practiced wisely, help us struggle against our distorted wills in God’s grace.

Certainly, other practices may help. Regulating what we take in through our eyes and ears can be helpful, especially depending on what God is doing in our lives. But there are a couple things to remember as we engage in the ascetical life. First, we must remember that such practices don’t make a person a “good” or a “bad” Christian. We should never judge ourselves or others based on our successes or failures in these practices. Second, we can actually hinder God’s work in us by unwisely embracing practices that God hasn’t given to us. We can easily be crushed by joyless misery or swell with pride at our accomplishments. This is why the advice of a spiritual father and the collective wisdom of the Church is highly recommended.

The sacramental dimension is the mystical participation in divine grace. As Orthodox Christians, we have very specific Sacraments or Mysteries in which we participate in the life and grace of God. These specific moments, and in a more generic way all aspects of life, draw us into koinonia (participation in and shared lives) with God. Our lives are transformed into the likeness of Christ by the energies of God.

Like the ascetical life, there are a few important matters worth remembering. First, we must remember that transformation is a slow lifelong process. It is neither instantaneous nor experienced in great leaps and bounds. It will only be consummated in the New Creation. Second, the natural byproduct of transformation will be the dispassion of perfected love of God and others, not just modified behavior. Our distorted passions will be ordered and aligned with our healed will and soul. Third, we are not the ones who are overcoming our own sins. There is not a direct one-to-one correlation between the amount of our participation in the ascetical and sacramental life and our personal transformation. Only God transforms us. St Macarius wrote:

To uproot sin and the evil that is so imbedded in our sinning can be done only by divine power, for it is impossible and outside man’s competence to uproot sin. To struggle, yes, to continue to fight, to inflict blows, and to receive setbacks is in your power. To uproot, however, belongs to God alone. If you could have done it on your own, what would have been the need for the coming of the Lord?

Debbie voiced a desire that I believe many people share, “I want to see that kind of humanity [as embodied in Jesus] lived out.” But we must be very careful neither to shape that vision in our own image nor hold unattainable expectations for ourselves and others. Our eyes must always be turned inwardly to the kingdom of God within and not toward judging the success of others nor what we hope others may see in us.

In regard to training our children, we must help them live within the ascetical and sacramental life of the Church. We must also help them live within the world while simultaneously guarding their hearts from the influence of the broken world. Here is some instruction from St Basil:

Young people must be made to distinguish between helpful and injurious knowledge, keeping clearly in mind the Christian’s purpose in life. So, like the athlete or the musician, they must bend every energy to one task, the winning of the heavenly crown.

This includes helping our children (and ourselves) to form proper thinking, feeling, acting and relating through instruction, encouragement, prohibitions and boundaries. This isn’t legalistic as long as obedience or disobedience to all of this is not associated with being either a “good” or “bad” Christian or as somehow altering God’s love for us.

Again, I need to repeat that the primary issue in all of us, parents and children alike, is separation from God and the resultant spiritual death. So, the primary focus is always restored communion with God as we discussed above. And our role as parents is to make that available to our children, model it for them, encourage them to enter and pray, pray, pray for them.

Again, all of this is opinion and is subject to correction and change.

Incarnation and Salvation

I would wager that most Christians easily associate Christ’s Incarnation with humanity’s need for salvation. It’s popularly recited, “God became man in order to save us.” In fact, I would even go further and wager that most Christians believe our need for salvation compelled God to become man. I’ve lost count of how many “gospel presentations” I’ve heard stating that God’s only course of action was to become human and rescue us. And I’ve heard the Incarnation reduced even further to such statements as “God became human just so that he could die for us.”

While such a statement contains a modicum of truth, I believe it misses the amazing truth of how our salvation is contained within Christ’s Incarnation. Certainly God became human to save us. And he saves us by becoming like us — the Word of God took on human nature so that we humans might participate in his divine nature (2 Pet 1:4). Or to quote St Athanasius once again, “God became man so that man might become god.” In other words, our salvation isn’t simply found in the several hours of Jesus dying on the cross. Rather, our salvation is found in the entire event of the Incarnation — from Gabriel’s pronouncement, through conception, pregnancy, and birth, through Christ’s entire life, through his crucifixion and resurrection and even beyond.

Because through the Incarnation, we discover the amazing reality of “God with us.” That is our salvation.

Our salvation is communion with God, who has taken on our nature and dwells with us. We have koinonia with him, which means we share our lives with him; we participate in him and he in us. And in that sharing of lives, we are being transformed into the likeness of Christ, who is not only the genuine image of God, but also the genuine image of humanity. Jesus wasn’t just God in a shell of human skin and flesh. He was fully God and fully human. And in the fullness of his humanity, Christ embodies the kind of humanity into which we are being saved.

So, through Jesus — the Word and Image of God incarnate — God is recreating and renewing his image within humanity. Yet this renewal requires the vanquishing of the death and corruption that continues to distort the image of God in us. Death and corruption must first be vanquished at a cosmic level, accomplished through Jesus’ crucifixion. That’s why we sing at Pascha:

“Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death. And upon those in the tomb, bestowing life.”

But the death and corruption that finds residence in our lives also must be expunged at a practical level. Christ died on a cross not so we could avoid one, but so we could take up one ourselves. The New Testament documents are replete with pastoral exhortations to mortify whatever belongs to the old nature and to begin practicing by grace that which belongs to the new nature, the renewed image of God as embodied in Christ. So in practice, communion with God requires both an ascetical side of dying to self and a sacramental side of participating in the divine grace. Through this process we work out our salvation and become by grace what God is by nature.

Incarnation and Image

Spurred on by St Athanasius’ quote that I highlighted in my previous post, I have been reflecting on the Incarnation. I’m once again astonished at the magnitude of God’s work through Christ. It’s in that startling and mysterious event when God became man and heaven and earth uniquely merged that we find a realigning of humankind’s and creation’s conjoined trajectory toward salvation and restoration.

Truly, we discover our salvation in the Incarnation of the Word of God. As St Athanasius states, “He, indeed, assumed humanity that we might become god.” The Incarnation is intimately connected with the Image of God. We are being saved as we are reimaged into God. Our salvation is a forward movement in that we are not being saved backward into the original image of God that we find in the opening chapters of Genesis. Rather, we are being saved forward into the full maturity of the image of God as embodied in Jesus, the genuine human being.

And as the image of God that is depicted in Genesis was expressed through the proper stewardship of creation, the fullness of this image, as embodied in Christ and to which we ourselves are being saved, is expressed through a restorative and transformative stewardship of creation. We see this subtly demonstrated in the Eucharist.

During the Divine Liturgy, as we move closer to the Eucharist, the priest states, “Thine own of thine own we offer unto thee, in behalf of all, and for all.” Our offering experiences a threefold movement. First, our offering is given to us by God. God gives us wheat and grapes from the ground. He is the Treasury of good things and Giver of Life and we gratefully receive his benefaction. Second, our offering is the work of our hands as we present to him not wheat and grapes, but bread and wine. We do not simply offer back the raw fruits of the ground. As creation’s stewards, we cultivate, transform and return God’s gifts, mingled with our creativity and labor. Third, our offering is then transformed by God into his very presence and life — the actual Body and Blood of Christ — of which we then partake and carry into the world. In this way, heaven and earth merge in accordance with God’s original design.

Frankly, God could have skipped us in the process. Yet it has always been his intention that heaven and earth intersect through our creative cooperation with his will. We reflect his image into creation through our stewardship. We impart his life as we live in him, the Source and Giver of Life.

Simply put, as goes humanity, so goes creation. As humanity finds life in God, so creation finds life in God. As humanity fell and became distorted, so creation fell and became distorted. As humanity is rescued back into the life of God, so creation is rescued back into the life of God. In Christ’s Incarnation, God’s life fills human life. Then through human life, God’s life seeps into all of creation, reclaiming, reconciling and renewing every bit of space, time and matter from its destructive trajectory and resetting creation’s course toward the future God intended.

The threefold movement of the Eucharist forms a paradigm of our stewardship in the world as we are being saved and formed into the image of Christ. God graciously gives to us. We thankfully receive his gift, creatively and cooperatively develop it, and then humbly offer our work back to God. God then fills our offering with his very presence, transforming it even further so that it becomes a source of his life to us and to the world. This sacramental paradigm applies to all of the various areas and intricacies of daily life. In this way, we are the Body of Christ, his ongoing incarnation within creation.

Counting the Waves

A recent email conversation ignited within me a renewed interest in the Incarnation. Over the years, the elements of the Incarnation, much like the Image of God, have shaped large portions of my theological landscape.

Yesterday, I finished St Athanasius’, On the Incarnation. One line toward the end just about took my breath away:

In short, such and so many are the Savior’s achievements that follow from His Incarnation, that to try to number them is like gazing at the open sea and trying to count the waves.

That’s exactly what I’ve thought about the Incarnation. The Reality of the Incarnation is like a massive sea, mysterious and frightening, yet captivating and alluring. God takes on our humanity so that we might become god. Can you feel the splash of the mighty waves upon your face?

The repercussions of the Incarnation are like seismic vibrations rumbling through the bedrock of our very human nature as well as through all of creation. Creator God has become a human being and entered into the very time and space that he created in order to reclaim, reconcile and renew every bit of it back to himself. Can you feel the resonating tremors throb through your being?

Quotes on Prayer

Here are some great quotes on prayer that are worth reflecting upon that I extracted from Fr Stephen’s post on prayer:

Prayer is a matter of love. Man expresses love through prayer, and if we pray, it is an indication that we love God.

Only if prayer is living communion with God does it make sense to strive for unceasing prayer. The commandment to “pray always” is tantamount to saying: “Live!”

Indeed prayer is the sound (whether spoken or not) of God within us.

Fr Stephen & “Theology of the Image”

I have been enamored with the theology of “the image of God” for the last several years. I am convinced this reality is key to not only understanding our purpose and destiny as human beings, but also to understanding and living more fully our identity in Christ. Fr Stephen’s post is a wonderful summary of the theology of the image. Here are a couple of highlight paragraphs:

“For St. Paul, Adam’s creation in the “image and likeness” of God is fulfilled in Christ. “The first man [Adam] is of the earth (in Hebrew, “of the earth” would be Adamah). “The second man [Christ] is of heaven” (1 Corinthians 15:47 ). It is this re-reading of Genesis that allows St. Paul to say that “just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven.” The Genesis story of Adam is a prefiguring of Christ – in St. Paul the final meaning of Genesis is to be found in its fulfillment in Christ. The Second Adam (one of Paul’s names for Christ) is the true image and likeness of the Father – an image and likeness never fulfilled by the First Adam. Salvation in Christ is a “new creation” for St. Paul – in it, those who are saved are re-created and “conformed to the image” of Christ. Salvation as “conformity to the image” is clearly an important understanding for St. Paul – but sadly neglected by many Christians.”

“Christ is the true image of the invisible God – the God/Man who makes visible and tangible to us the God Whom we could not otherwise know. He is the Second Adam, the true image to which we shall be conformed. Apart from Christ, man lives in the image of the man of earth, the First Adam, and fails to live according to the likeness of God. In Christ, God makes us to become what we were always intended to become – the image and likeness of God.”

Fr Sophrony’s Prayer

As a new Orthodox Christian, I have to admit that one of the most difficult things I’ve been learning to do is pray. This might sound strange coming from a Christian of over 20 years and from a professional pastor of 14 years. But it’s true. Becoming an Orthodox Christian doesn’t simply mean joining “another” Christian church. At the risk of sounding a bit melodramatic, becoming an Orthodox Christian means embracing a completely different Christian worldview. Believe me, the differences between Orthodoxy and Protestant Evangelicalism run far deeper than what one may see on the surface. But that topic will have to wait for future posts.

Because Orthodoxy is so different that Evangelicalism, my family and I are relearning how to pray. I remember theologian Gordon Fee once stating, “I can tell what a person actually believes by what they pray and what they sing.” That statement contains a lot of truth. As I have journeyed further into Orthodoxy, I’ve realized that what I used to pray for and how I used to pray as an Evangelical revealed some very faulty theology on my part.

One piece of advice Fr Patrick gave my family and me as young Orthodox Christians is to only pray using the Orthodox prayer book in order to relearn how to pray. He told us that we need to learn how to pray with the Church. Over the centuries, the Orthodox Church has learned how to pray so that their theology and practice are completely aligned. So, part of the life of Christ available in the Orthodox Church is learning to pray with the Church.

Using prayers written by someone else was almost scandalous to me as an Evangelical. In my old worldview, prayer was relational and relationships were spontaneous. Therefore, I had been taught to “pray from the heart” and to “talk to God like I would anyone else.” And while there is something valuable with this instruction, if I were to be honest, spontaneous prayer eventually devolved into something “less than” spontaneous. For example, prayers before meals and prayers for common requests eventually took on a rote nature. In effect, my prayer life was being formed by collecting and using “spiritually sounding” prayers that others had prayed or that I had prayed myself.

Now as an Orthodox Christian, I am truly appreciating written prayers. My mind and heart are being reformed (and hopefully transformed) by the prayers of men and women far more spiritual, intelligent and holier than me. Not only am I relearning sound theology as I pray, but I’m peering ever deeper into God’s mind and heart as I pray the prayers of those who have been immersed far deeper in God’s mind and heart than me. These prayers are helping me to find words to express myself to God, words that I would never have found even on a really good day.

So with that lengthy introduction, I wanted to say that I was pleased when I found a prayer by Fr Sophrony on Fr Stephen Freeman’s blog this morning. There is such spiritual depth and beauty to this prayer. This is one prayer that I will be praying over and over and hope to eventually incarnate over time.

O Eternal Lord and Creator of all things, in your inscrutable goodness you have called me into this life and have given me the grace of baptism and the seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit.  You have instilled in me the desire to seek your face.  Hear my prayer!

I have no life, no light, no joy, no strength, no wisdom without you, O God.   Because of my unrighteousness, I dare not lift my eyes in your presence.  But I obey you who said:

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  (Mark 11)

Truly, truly I say to you, if you ask anything of the Father He will give it to you in my name.   Until now you have asked nothing in my name.  Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.  (John 16)

Therefore I now dare to approach you.  Purify me from all stain of flesh and spirit.  Teach me to pray rightly.  Bless this day which you give to me, your unworthy servant.

By the power of your blessing enable me at all times to speak and to act with a pure spirit to your glory;  with faith, hope and love, humility, patience, gentleness, peace, purity, simplicity, sobriety, courage and wisdom.  Let me always be aware of your presence.

In your boundless goodness, O Lord God, show me your will and grant me to walk in your sight without sin.

O Lord, unto whom all hearts are open, you know what I need and what is necessary for me.  You know my blindness and my ignorance.  You know my infirmity and corruption.  My pain and anguish are not hidden from you.  Therefore I beg you:  Hear my prayer and teach me by the power of your Holy Spirit the way in which I should walk.  And when my perverted will leads me otherwise, O Lord, do not spare me, but force me back to your way.

Grant me, Lord, to hold fast to what is good by the power of your love.  Preserve me from every word and act which corrupts the soul, and from every impulse that is unpleasing in your sight and harmful to the people around me.  Teach me what I should say and how I should speak.  If it be your holy will that I be quiet and make no answer, inspire me to be silent in a peaceful spirit that causes neither harm nor hurt to my fellow human beings.

Establish me in the path of your commandments, and until my last breath do not let me stray from the light of your ordinances.  May your commandments be the sole law of my being in this life and for all eternity.

O Lord, I pray to you:  Have mercy on me.  Spare me in my affliction and misery and hide not the way of salvation from me.

In my foolishness, O God, I plead with you for many and great things.  Yet I am ever mindful of my wickedness, my baseness, my vileness.  Have pity on me!  Cast me not away from your presence because of my foolish presumption.  Increase rather in me the right presumption of your grace and grant that I, the worst of people, may love you with all my mind, all my heart, all my soul and all my strength, as you have commanded.

By your Holy Spirit, Lord, teach me good judgment and sound knowledge.  Let me know the truth before I die.  Maintain my life in this world until the end that I may offer worthy repentance.  Do not take me away while my mind is still blind and bound by darkness.  When you are pleased to end my life, give me warning that I may prepare my soul to come before you.  Be with me, Lord, at that awesome hour and assure me by your grace of the joy of my salvation.

Cleanse me from secret faults.  Purify me from hidden iniquities.  Give me a good answer at your dread judgment seat.

Lord of great mercy and measureless love for all people:  Hear my prayer!  Amen.

(With editing by Fr. Thomas Hopko)

Personal Transfiguration

I had a wonderful meeting with Fr Patrick yesterday afternoon. I cannot adequately express my joy at having a spiritual father whom I consider both wise and safe. In addition, I never feel I’m receiving spiritual advice that has not first been hammered out in his own life. Fr Patrick is a trustworthy fellow sojourner on the path to salvation and life in Christ.

Yesterday, he reminded me of a very simple truth that has been resonating in my mind all night and morning. He said that the place of personal transfiguration is where God’s divine energies and our personal repentance meet. This “equation” for spiritual formation is neither a magical formula nor an instantaneous event. It requires both the discipline of an ascetic life and an abundance of time as we cooperate with God’s grace. But this simple equation basically summarizes the life of the Orthodox Church. The life of the Church through its Scriptures, services, sacraments and stories of the saints, is aimed at helping us by both developing personal repentance and exposing us to God’s divine energies.

I’m particularly captivated with Orthodoxy’s focus on repentance. Frankly, constantly hearing about repentance when we first began attending the Orthodox Church rubbed me the wrong way. Repentance is not a popular concept in American Christianity. It’s often associated with the “Woe-is-me-Beat-myself-up” mentality of abusive and destructive religion. It took some time for me to purge that image out of my head.

But that’s not repentance at all. Repentance literally means “to change one’s mind.” It’s used during the New Testament time in a similar way as our modern phrase, “Think about it.” To repent is to hear an alternative to one’s agenda or course of action, to carefully weigh the consequences of both, and ultimately to recognize the wisdom of the alternative and lay down your inferior agenda. Repentance isn’t just changing one’s mental perspective but it’s the actual transformation of one’s mind and subsequently, one’s life. When you embrace the superior alternative, it begins to transform your values, perspective and behavior. It’s a complete shift of worldview.

St. Isaac the Syrian correctly defines repentance as “to be transformed in the renewal of the mind.” While it can include remorse or confessing to breaking a law, repentance is ultimately the process of becoming one in heart and mind with Christ. Therefore, it is something we do through the rest of our lives.

So spiritual formation in the Orthodox Church is to be constantly confronted with the superior way, truth and life that is Christ himself, to be encouraged and urged to weigh the consequences of my self-destructive patterns of thinking, behaving and relating in light of the better way of Christ, and to lay down my way and to take up my cross and follow Christ. And this entire process is soaked in God’s divine energies.

“But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:16-18

It is this way that the Church is therapeutic, healing and repairing us of our brokenness and distortion. It is this way that the Church is like a gym, training and honing us into holiness.

Silence of the Lips

I found this great quote on Cameron’s  “We Live and Move and Have Our Being” blog.

“Silence of lips is better and more wonderful than any edifying conversation. Strive to acquire humility and submissiveness. Never insist that anything should be according to your will, for this gives birth to anger. Do not judge or humiliate anyone, for this gives birth to anger. Do not judge or humiliate anyone, for this exhausts the heart and blinds the mind, and thereon leads to negligence and makes the heart unfeeling.”
- St Barsanuphius

Okay. I know quotes like these can evoke a “Yeah, but…” response in us. But I would encourage you to reflect on the truth contained there and let it seep deep.

Fr Patrick’s New Website

Our family is blessed to have Fr Patrick O’Grady as our priest. So I’m pleased to announce that he has a brand-spanking new website! A friend of mine has been building it for him and it went live yesterday. Mmm… I just love that “new website” smell. Go check it out HERE.

Exaltation of the Life-Giving Cross

Today is the Feast of The Elevation of the Venerable and Life-Giving Cross. I found a wonderful quote on Fr Ted Bobosh’s blog that I thought was worth sharing:

“Only the cross can meet the suspicion of escapism: God gives hope not by promising to pull us into a different world but by offering us a fresh beginning in this world, by himself coming to a place of the very sort we are tempted to escape, a place where suffering, opposition, and senseless conspire to make life appear utterly futile and unbearable.  Only the cross can meet the suspicion of optimism in human nature: God gives us hope by meeting us not at the lofty summits of human achievement but at the point where all purely human hopes have shrunk and collapsed; it is here that exhausted human hope can be remade out of inexhaustible possibilities of God’s love.  Only the cross can meet the suspicion of violent domination: God gives us hope not by defeating the powers of darkness with some equivalent act of violence from above but by submitting to them and bearing their force from below, not by an imperial force that crushes from on high but by a love that absorbs evil in the depths.  This is the way of Golgatha, God’s wisdom (1 Cor. 1:18-25).”   (Jeremy S. Begbie, Resounding Truth)

Happy Golden Birthday, Chris!

Today, my youngest turns ten! He is the last of our children to cross the invisible barrier from single-digit to double-digit age. And, boy is he ready. Being the youngest of four children, Chris seems to have grown up much faster than the others. Chris is a bundle of joyous energy. He loves making people laugh. But there is a deeper, more serious side to Chris as well. I’m startled at times by how perceptive he can be in complex situations. Chris also loves his brother and sisters. While he does take time to be by himself, he seems to find his true identity in the communion of his siblings. He loves playing with them, talking with them and joking with them. Chris is awesome and I am so proud of who he is.

Happy Birthday, Chris! I hope God grants you a long, happy and holy life.

A New View on Theology

For twenty-three years as a Protestant, theology was basically an exercise in abstract doctrinal formulation. One was correct in theology if one assented to a pre-determined set of doctrinal bullet points. In this light, theology is about opinions. Surely, educated opinions, but opinions nonetheless.

During the last few years of my journey as a Protestant, I took this practice to its most logical conclusion. Burned too many times by embracing doctrines, ideas and opinions simply because I was told they were true and I must embrace them, I set about constructing my own theological system. Drawing heavily upon NT Wright and other theologians that I respected, I built a theological construct with which I could live.

One of the first things I realized on my way to becoming an Orthodox Christian is that theology is not viewed as matter of opinion in Orthodoxy. Nor is it about formulating an abstract religious belief system. In Orthodoxy, theology is life. As a Protestant, a theologian was one who usually had acquired the appropriate academic training. However, as an Orthodox, a theologian was one who had developed purity in prayer. In fact, there is an Orthodox adage, “The one who has purity in prayer is a true theologian, and the one who is a true theologian has purity in prayer.”

Frankly, that leaves me out. I spent too much time and money pursuing the academic side of theology and too little time praying. Obviously, this was a disappointing epiphany. But when I think about it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m glad theology in the Orthodox Church isn’t left in the hands of people like me — men and women who have spent more time with their head in books rather than before icons in prayer.

A new post by Fr Stephen Freeman makes this crystal clear. In it he says:

Fr. Georges Florovsky, of blessed memory, once wrote that doctrine is “a verbal icon of Christ.” That statement may not carry much weight with the non-Orthodox – but should come as a profound revelation for contemporary Orthodox believers. What we find in the teaching of the Church is not a collection of “right opinions” but a verbal representation of Christ, similar to the representation found in the holy icons. Again, the non-Orthodox may not perceive the power in this statement – but it is an important way for Orthodox Christians to remove themselves from the position of valuing opinions and restore them to the position of holding doctrine in its proper veneration.

Orthodox theology is a verbal representation of Christ. This is HUGE! This removes theology from the realm of academics, theory, and opinions and places it in its rightful place within the obedient life of the Church. And this truth requires a significant transformation within me so that I learn to yield my opinions to the teaching of the Church and embrace the representation of Christ that is revealed within that teaching.

Speak to God about Your Children

I saw this quote on Orrologion’s blog, who found it on Adventures of an Orthodox Mom’s blog:

“Pray and then speak. That’s what to do with your children. If you are constantly lecturing them, you’ll become tiresome and when they grow up they’ll feel a kind of oppression. Prefer prayer and speak to them through prayer. Speak to God and God will speak to their hearts. That is, you shouldn’t give guidance to your children with a voice that they hear with their ears. You may do this too, but above all you should speak to God about your children. Say, ‘Lord Jesus Christ, give Your light to my children. I entrust them to You. You gave them to me, but I am weak and unable to guide them, so, please, illuminate them.’ And God will speak to them and they will say to themselves, ‘Oh dear, I shouldn’t have upset Mummy by doing that!’ And with the grace of God this will come from their heart.”

“It is not sufficient for the parents to be devout. They mustn’t oppress the children to make them good by force. We may repel our children from Christ when we pursue the things of our religion with egotism.” - Elder Porphyrios in Wounded by Love

Holy Icons

Among the strangest, yet most wonderful things I have encountered in Holy Orthodoxy are the holy icons. They are stunningly beautiful. And intellectually, I had no problem accepting their place in Orthodox worship and  spirituality. However, learning to venerate the icons as an integral part of my own participation in Orthodox worship and spirituality was a significant and awkward hurdle as a former Protestant.

Interestingly, my children led the way for me. After several visits to St. Peter’s, my kids asked if they could join the parish members in venerating the icons. Since our family was exploring Orthodoxy together, how could I deny them this experience? While several of my evangelical red flags were flying high, my children seemed to have no qualms with crossing themselves, bowing before and kissing the icons. As our family journeyed through our first Lent, I made a decision. I didn’t want my evangelical reservations, which had no place in Orthodoxy anyways, to prevent me from experiencing the fullness of Lent and the approaching Holy Week. So after one of the services, and with a great amount of trepidation, I joined the other parish members in venerating the icon. It felt like everyone was watching me. In hindsight I know that was not true. Veneration of the icons is a very personal moment and each person is given their appropriate privacy.

Now, almost 18 months later, I cannot imagine worship and prayer, even life in general, without the icons. The icons are the thin veil between the dimensions of earth and heaven, points of communion with God. Each icon is an expression of the incarnation, the presence of God embedded within material and flesh. The icons depict the cloud of witnesses who have attained the fullness of Christ and are now interceding for my salvation. As I gaze upon the icons, I gaze upon reality of the risen life in Christ within those who are my fathers and mothers and my brothers and sisters in Christ, without whom my journey to salvation would be impossible.

So that’s my personal experience with the icons. The catalyst for this reflection was a wonderful explanation of icons by Fr Stephen Freeman. Again, Fr Stephen hits one out of the park. While his post is not an exhaustive explanation and may not alleviate the evangelical misgivings of idolatry, it is a great introduction if one is trying to understand the role of icons in the Orthodox life. Here’s a great quote from Fr Stephen’s post:

The veneration of the saints in the Holy Icons is a lesson to the heart of how to venerate Christ in every person (who is made “in His image” [icon]).

Frankly, knowing the hardness of my own heart, that lesson alone is worth everything.

Could Bad Theology Get Any Worse?

I just watched a preview for a new movie called, Legion. Here’s the synopsis from the website:

In the supernatural action thriller Legion, an out-of-the-way diner becomes the unlikely battleground for the survival of the human race. When God loses faith in Mankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity’s only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner and the Archangel Michael.

Ooookay…

So God gets fed up with humanity and sends his angels, who are led by the Archangel Gabriel and who all look pretty demonic, to exterminate us. But thank God (or perhaps not) the Archangel Michael likes us more than God enough to rebel against Him to save our collective butts.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this one.

Violence or Humility

Fr Stephen Freeman has written another great post today. (Quite frankly, when does he NOT write a great post.) Please take five minutes to read it.

Part of his post was an outstanding quote by Stanley Hauerwas, theologian and professor at Duke University:

“The Christian community’s openness to new life and our conviction of the sovereignty of God over that life are but two sides of the same conviction. Christians believe that we have the time in this existence to care for new life, especially as such life is dependent and vulnerable, because it is not our task to rule this world or to “make our mark on history.” We can thus take the time to live in history as God’s people who have nothing more important to do than to have and care for children. For it is the Christian claim that knowledge and love of God is fostered by service to the neighbor, especially the most helpless, as in fact that is where we find the kind of Kingdom our God would have us serve.”     A Community of Character

This quote was followed by another:

“So soon as Christians agree to take responsibility for the outcome of history, we have agreed to do violence.”

This thought is worth some serious reflection on both political and personal levels: It is neither the Christian’s nor the Church’s task to rule this world nor make our mark on history. And the moment we shoulder that responsibility, we have agreed to do violence.

Now this does not mean we simply huddle in a corner and gnaw on our fingernails with dread and worry. Rather, we are to take up our proper responsibility, marked first by the conviction of God’s sovereignty over life and second by the “downward Way” of humility.

In hindsight, it seems my entire adult Christian life was aimed, although unintentionally, at obscuring the true Gospel. I had one fiery passion. I wanted to change the world. I wanted the Church to change the world. I wanted to build a local church with members who would join its leadership in changing the world. I taught and programmed our church with the intent on helping others change the world. My life had purpose and I had big hairy audacious goals.

And I was a man of violence.

Sure, if you had confronted me with that accusation, I would have denied it. Angrily denied it. I was doing God’s work of bringing his kingdom to earth. So please get the heck out of my way.

And those around me suffered violence. Sure I didn’t physically abuse anyone. But my wife and kids had a husband and father that was constantly absent. And when I was physically present with them, I was usually mentally and emotionally absent as I mulled over ways of improving my leadership and ministry or impatient with them for taking up my valuable time. My volunteer leadership suffered violence as I subtly forced my agenda upon their ministries or downright replaced them when they didn’t live up to my expectations. I mentally categorized people by what they could offer to our church by their strengths, wealth, and gifts. And I suffered violence at my own hands through stress, imbalance and a lack of any inward formation.

Now, I wasn’t a task master. I was a really nice man of violence.  I tried treating people with respect. I tried to protect people from overworking in and overgiving to the church. I tried to pray for and care for everyone who came into and served our church. But my relationship with everyone was primarily shaped by my goals of building a church that would change the world. And so, my life and ministry incarnated the way of violence and took its toll on those around me.

I’m happy to say that God is rescuing me from that path. I can thoroughly appreciate Hauerwas’ quote:

“We can thus take the time to live in history as God’s people who have nothing more important to do than to have and care for children.”

I have been experiencing and continue to experience a worldview change. I no longer live each day with the passion to change the world. The well-being and care of my wife and my kids are the most important things to me. I “simply” (in quotes because it’s not a simple thing) want to be a good man to my family, friends, coworkers and any others God brings my way. I have a long way to go in this goal. And the only way to truly accomplish this is to enter into and follow Christ into his humility — the downward Way.

I used to measure my personal success by the amount of people I was influencing through conversations, preaching and writing. I’m now understanding what Fr Stephen says, that our goals should be measured by the “measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Eph 4:13).

I still have goals, but they are very, very different than my previous ones. One of my personal goals is for my wife and kids to look back upon their lives and know that they were genuinely, unconditionally and constantly loved by me. That may sound simple, especially in a world that is wrestling with some dire issues. But in reality, authentic love is such a rare thing today. It doesn’t happen naturally because it requires a certain kind of life that most avoid.

Fr Stephen ends his post by speaking of the Tradition of the Holy Elders who embrace, live and embody the downward Way:

“Their lives, frequently hidden from the larger view of the world, are the continuing manifestation of the Kingdom of God in our midst – fellows of the sufferings of Christ – who freely and voluntarily bear with Christ the weight of all humanity. It is this secret bearing that forms the very foundation of the world – a foundation without which the world would long ago have perished into nothing. It is the emptiness of Christ, also shared in its depths by His saints, that is the vessel of the fullness of God, the source of all life and being. We can search for nothing greater.”

During my journey here, I will most likely never experience this fullness of humility and life in Christ. But I hope and dream to enter it a bit. For my wife and children, I yearn to wet my feet on the shores of this mighty river, even if I can’t swim in it. For them, I hope to become a humble sampling of true life and love.

Happy 12th Birthday, Danielle!

Today, my youngest daughter, Danielle, turns twelve! My baby girl is almost a teenager. Dani is turning into a beautiful young woman. She has a beautiful smile and an infectious laugh that can sweep anyone into the giggles. Dani loves to decorate the house, cook and bake, and design clothes. She’s also a cuddle-bug and loves to hug. But don’t let that fool you. She’s a tough gal and will stand up for you or stand up to you as needed. Dani, I’m very proud of you and love you very much. I hope you have a wonderful 12th birthday today.

Happy 20th Anniversary!

In my last post, I mentioned that I was reserving my 600th post to talk about a major milestone that I was approaching.   It would have been more correct to say that Debbie and I were approaching.  In a few days, we will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary!

I’m absolutely flabbergasted by this. It seems like we were just married a few years ago. But then I look at the size of my children and reality strikes.

When I reflect on the past twenty years, I am keenly aware of how fortunate I am. I have not only found someone who agreed to marry me, but someone who has chosen to be my best and most intimate friend. Virtually every evening, after the kids have gone to bed and Debbie sits next to me on the couch to unwind from the day’s activities, I am stunned by the fact that this beautiful and brilliant woman has chosen to spend her life with me; to spend that day with me; to spend that night with me.

Debbie has seen me at my worst. She has witnessed and borne the wounds of my bad decisions, my immaturity, my evil heart and my dismal failures. And despite all of this, she still chooses to love me, to trust me, to believe in me and to share her life with mine.

For those who have not met Debbie, I wish you could spend some time with her. She is gorgeous. She is intelligent. She is witty. She is funny. She is compassionate. She is courageous. She is spiritual. She is wise. She is virtuous. She is caring. She is sacrificial. She is optimistic. She is forgiving. She is generous. She is gentle. She is imaginative. She is loyal. She is an amazing person. (Oh, and did I mention she’s a Sci-Fi geek too!)

Forgive me for indulging a bit, but I absolutely love taking walks with Debbie with her hand in mine. I love looking into her eyes. I love it when she flashes me that smile that is for me alone. I love laughing with her, holding her, watching her.

When I look at Debbie, I am very conscious of how rich a man I am. I have been privileged to have spent most of my adult life with my best friend. I often imagine the kind of person I would have become without Debbie in my life. I know I would have become a self-absorbed and immature little man at best. But because God graced me with such a wonderful woman, I am confident that I am becoming a better man.

I have thoroughly enjoyed starting a family with Debbie and watching our four children mature into beautiful human beings. I see their mother’s winsome character in their lives and hope they come to realize how fortunate they are. And while I’m saddened at the thought that my children will eventually grow into adults and move on with their own lives, I’m comforted by knowing that Debbie will always remain at my side.

In fact, so much has shifted and changed in our lives. I have lost jobs and started jobs. We have changed churches and explored different forms of Christianity. We have watched friends move or die. We are watching our parents grow old and our children grow up. But through it all, our friendship and marriage has been the one constant unto which I have held.

I look forward to growing old with Debbie. I don’t know what the future holds for our lives. But I know that through the good and bad and through the joys and struggles, our love will surpass everything.

I love you, Debbie. I loved you beyond belief on our wedding day and my love has only grown over these twenty years. You’re everything to me and I pray God grants us many, many sensational years together. Happy Anniversary!

Milestones

Well, this is interesting. I’m quickly approaching three minor and one ginormous milestone.

First, after posting several iPhone Photos to my Flickr account this evening, I realized that I’m one image shy of 100 posted iPhone Photos. When I began the endeavor, I didn’t predict how fun it would be to take photos with my iPhone everyday. Not every photo is great. But learning to look constantly at life with different eyes is a wonderful exercise. You can view the entire set of iPhone Photos in my Flickr account HERE.

Second, I’m quickly approaching my 75th image on my photoblog, “Images from the Journey.” This has been a more serious endeavor of developing my skills at digital photography by trying to capture the beauty in the world around me along with some simple reflections about the image.

Third, this post is my 599th post on this blog. I know 600 is a random number, but it’s the nearest 100th and I thought it worth noting. I began this blog in March 2003. A lot has happened in the past six years. But as we say in the Orthodox Church, “It’s unto our salvation.” And quite frankly, I wouldn’t change a thing because I’m actually enjoying the person into which God is making me.

So what’s the major milestone? I think I’m going to save that one for the 600th post! See you then.

Fr Stephen Freeman & “The Fascination of Wickedness”

As always, Fr Stephen’s recent post is filled with accessible spiritual insight. Really good stuff. It’s a wonderful reminder of the power our “mere” thoughts, words and prayers possess, especially as we live in a culture that has trained us to naturally look at everything with a critical eye.

But for me, the highlight of Fr Stephen’s post was the introductory quote by The Elder Porphyrios:

Man has such powers that he can transmit good or evil to his environment. These matters are very delicate. Great care is needed. We need to see everything in a positive frame of mind. We mustn’t think anything evil about others. Even a simple glance or a sigh influences those around us. And even the slightest anger or indignation does harm. We need to have goodness and love in our soul and to transmit these things.

We need to be careful not to harbor any resentment against those who harm us, but rather to pray for them with love. Whatever any of our fellow men does, we should never think evil of him. We need always to have thoughts of love and always to think good of others. Look at St. Stephen the first martyr. He prayed, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them’ (Acts 7:60). We need to do the same.

Our goal is love. Spiritual disciplines, the various church services and the other vibrant resources of the Orthodox Church are wonderful traditions that have carried the life of Christ from the first Apostles until now and will do so far into the future. But the life of Christ is love.

“Lord, may I one day echo St Paul’s words:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Lord, your life and your love in me and through me.”

Steeping in Orthodoxy

Author and Orthodox Christian, Frederica Mathewes-Green stated in a recent podcast that there are generally two genres of books that Orthodox Christians prefer to read — explanations or experiences. This statement was an “aha” moment for me. Lately, I’ve been pondering the reasons for my relative silence on this blog. Believe me, I’ve tried writing many posts about Orthodoxy, either its theology or my experiences as a new Orthodox Christian. However, upon starting these posts, I find myself ultimately deleting them.

While standing in Matins this past Sunday morning, I realized that I have been an Orthodox Christian for seven months. During these past seven months, and the year of exploration prior to joining the Orthodox Church, I intentionally refrained from doing a lot of reading and studying. This may seem counterproductive, but due to my personality and training, I can easily over-theorize my faith. In other words, my conceptual understanding of the faith can easily overreach my actual life experience. I’ve been guilty of this as an evangelical and I wanted to avoid this as an Orthodox Christian. So my strategy was to soak myself in the life of the Orthodox Church.

I can only relate my experiences thus far to a steeping cup of tea. There is something soothing and satisfying about tea steeping in hot water. The wafting steam carries the aroma of flavor being released from the dried leaves. My “steeping” in Orthodoxy is occurring in the normal ebbs and flows of life within the Orthodox Church. This may not sound like much to those unfamiliar with Orthodoxy, but trust me, it’s life-immersing.

And over this period of time, I’ve noticed that the water of my life is beginning to carry a subtle, yet very distinct flavor as new thoughts, values and feelings are being gently coaxed out of me through the Holy Spirit’s activity within the Church.

Prior to coming to Orthodox Christianity, I steeped for 25 years in evangelical Christianity, which included fourteen years of professional ministry and an undergraduate and graduate degree in pastoral preparation and theology. Yet, having transitioned into Orthodoxy, I’m discovering that I need to consciously set aside much of my past experiences and training.

Eastern Orthodox Christianity, in its theology and practice, is very different from and occasionally incompatible with western Protestant Christianity. Just like it would be wrong for me to experience and judge a new culture into which I’ve moved with my American values, so it is wrong to experience and judge Orthodox Christianity with my old Protestant evangelical values. For example, historically speaking alone, Orthodoxy never encountered the issues and abuses that led to the Protestant Reformation. So what right do I have to use the Protestant theology that flowed from the Reformation as some sort of plumb line for my new life as an Orthodox Christian?

This places me in a somewhat awkward position as one who enjoys writing. As the theological concepts and spiritual practices that dominated most of my evangelical life fade away, I’m trying to write less and less from an evangelical perspective so as to allow the new worldview of Orthodoxy to seep deep within me.

Yet in light of Frederica’s comment, I have not learned enough to explain much about Orthodox Christianity in this blog. And I’m committed not to reading and studying a lot for several more months. But having only steeped for seven months, I don’t feel my experiences in Orthodoxy are very flavorful yet either. So, do I remain silent, or write about things of which I know little, or write about my extremely limited experiences?

Frankly, I haven’t decided what I will do yet. (My indecision toward this blog probably explains the additional activity on my photoblog and Flickr account lately.) Although I’m leaning toward writing about my minimal experiences as a new Orthodox Christian, I’m aware of the need for caution. Heeding Fr. Stephen Freeman’s words, I desire to guard the Secret Place by not turning my blog into a vehicle of full self-disclosure. Proper steeping and formation in Orthodoxy requires learning and practicing wise silence.

So bottom-line, I’m very content with where I am right now. I’m not fretting about my indecision. Nor am I in any hurry to make a decision, because I’m in this for life. Not just life now, but life forever. Seven months down and eternity to go. With that in mind, I’m going to relax and soak in the warmth.

Good-bye MissionalStew.com

Today, I decided to close our family’s website, MissionalStew.com. I began the site a couple of years ago with the hopes of highlighting our family’s continual journey in Christ. However, Debbie and I became more cautious about posting photos and videos of our children on the web. Plus, I’ve concentrated my small amount of time on this blog and my photoblog. Throw in Twitter and Facebook and I think there is plenty of opportunity for friends and family to stay updated with our family.

Debbie came up with the name for the website and I still love it. It communicates the messiness and the robustness of walking with Jesus and how it should impact the world in an authentic and hearty way. So, while the website ends, I hope our family continues to follow Jesus in a way that nourishes the world with God’s goodness and beauty.

Steve Robinson is Disappearing… and Reappearing

I’m always saddened when I learn that someone who has been a great influence in my life decides to stop their ministry. Even though I may have never met that person, I still feel like a small, but important part of me is disappearing. I guess it’s the finality of it that ultimately saddens me.

I’m feeling these emotions this morning as I read Steve Robinson latest post. Steve is the cohost of the “Our Life in Christ” podcast, which is perhaps one of the most influential Orthodox Christian podcasts on the web. For years, he and Bill Gould have shared the richness of Orthodox Christianity through their microphones. On top of that, Steve’s internet contributions also include his own podcast on Ancient Faith Radio and his personal blog.

While I’m sad that Steve is ending his podcasts, I’m thrilled about his reasons. Having given himself so much to public ministry in the past, he is now choosing to refocus his time to be with his family. He plans to spend more time with his aging parents, wife, kids and dog. That is so cool. I am very glad for him and respect his decision.

Steve, your voice on the Internet will be missed. But your decision honors the God we love and serve. May God grant you many, many years of fruitful ministry to your family and those he brings into your life.

Change of Opinion

Recently, I’ve changed my opinion about my iPhone. Oh, don’t misunderstand me. I love my iPhone and think it’s a wonderful item of techno-wizardry. Yet, there is one part of the iPhone of which I’ve been ambivalent — its camera. The iPhone has a 2 megapixel camera. Not bad, but not great. So I’ve viewed it kind of like a toy. Sure, I would take occasional pictures of the kids, but I wouldn’t have thought of using it for any kind of creative digital photography or documenting important family moments.

That is until I saw what a great photographer could do with the iPhone’s camera. Enter Chase Jarvis. This guy is a particularly skilled professional creative. And while he uses some very high-end photo equipment, he also has a gallery of images taken with his iPhone camera and edited simply with iPhone apps.

When I saw his iPhone images, I suddenly became aware of an entire vista of opportunity. Many great photographers recommend constantly carrying a camera. In fact, Chase states, “The best camera is the one that’s with you.” I own two cameras — a Nikon D40x and a Canon PowerShot A620. Constantly carrying either of these cameras throughout my daily activities is out of the question. But my iPhone is always on my hip.

Viewing my iPhone as a viable creative tool is developing a couple of important photography skills. First, I find myself more alert to my surroundings. I’m becoming more aware of the colors and lines and textures around me. Some capture well on the iPhone and some don’t. But I get to enjoy the beauty in the moment nonetheless. Second, because my iPhone’s camera is pretty simple, I’m forced to find simple compositions. This discipline translates well to my other cameras.

So, I not only love my iPhone, but also its simple camera. And I’m using its camera more and more. I’m also using two iPhone image-editing apps — CameraBag and Photogene. The results are far from high quality images. But there is still beauty and splendor. For me, that’s what it’s all about.

If you’re interested, I’m going to be posting my iPhone Photos in two ways. First, I will be posting the images on Twitter along with my other Tweets. You can follow me on Twitter by clicking HERE. I have also created a simple iPhone Photos page on my photoblog that I will update occasionally. You can view the iPhone Photos page by clicking HERE. I’m not sure if I will upload these images to my Flickr account yet, but you can always view my Flickr Photostream HERE.

UPDATE (6/12/09): I have decided to post my iPhone Photos on my Flickr account. I’ve created a new set called creatively enough, “iPhone Photos.” You can view that set by clicking HERE.

Inflicting Death

Today, I inflicted death. Not metaphorically, but literally. I killed a living creature.

I accidentally ran over a cat with my car.

It was a horrific moment. It seemed to happen in an instant, yet play out in slow motion. The flash of white and brown fur. The sickening thud. The even more sickening lurch as my car’s tire rolled over the cat. Then watching the cat try to stagger away, only to collapse with spasms. A few seconds later it was gone. Dead.

Ironically, I was probably at my best behavior as a driver. I was awake and alert. I had both hands on the steering wheel. I was well under the speed limit. And I wasn’t distracted by my radio or phone. And yet, in that moment, my best still inflicted death.

That’s a very disturbing thought. My best resulted in death. A life was snuffed out by my hands even though everything I was and did in that moment was good.

And the effects will continue rippling outward. Later tonight, a family will wait in vain for their pet to return home. Tomorrow morning they will continue to worry. Perhaps over the next few days they will tape pictures of their cat throughout the neighborhood, hoping someone has found their pet. But, there will be no happy ending to this story.

All I could do in the aftermath was call the police so they could dispatch animal control and leave with a sober reminder of my deficiencies, sorry for what I had done.

Surprised by Rhino

Several weeks ago, my family watched Bolt on DVD. While titled after the movie’s main character, it seemed the movie was created to showcase Rhino the hamster. If my family’s outbursts of laughter are any measurement, Rhino virtually stole every scene.

***** Spoiler Alert begins! *****

But one scene caught me totally off guard. At the movie’s climax, Penny, Bolt’s owner, is trapped in a movie studio that is engulfed in flames. Bolt the dog, Mittens the cat and Rhino the hamster rush toward an entrance to the movie studio. Mittens asks, “What should we do?” Bolt responds, “Just make sure I get in there.” Surprisingly, Rhino speeds through the door in his hamster ball and uses his plastic ball to bear the weight of the building’s collapsing metal frame while Bolt shoots past to find Penny. As his plastic ball begins to splinter under the weight, Rhino cries out, “It’s a good day to die!” And in the following seconds of that scene, you realize that he was actually willing to die so that Bolt could go on to save Penny.

***** Spoiler Alert ends (maybe) *****

As the movie’s action continued, my eyes welled with tears and my mind lingered on that scene. Okay, okay, I know it was a cartoon. But there was something poignantly relevant in that moment that needs to be unpacked. Throughout the movie, Rhino gives himself wholeheartedly to the adventure. And at the most crucial moment, when the other side character wonders how to respond, Rhino instinctively and naturally acts. At the instant when everything counts, he automatically does what’s needed. He responds with what the ancient fathers called “virtue.” His courage and self-sacrifice had become second-nature, so embedded in his flesh and bones that he throws himself into certain death on behalf of his friends without even hesitating to think about it. His body and mind operate as a single self-sacrificing unit, “It’s a good day to die!”

Rhino’s character reminds me of something St Paul says in Colossians. He says that he and his compatriots are praying for the Christians in Colossae so that they may lead lives worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God. Lives worthy of the Lord, in which goodness and knowledge of God are second nature and embedded in flesh and bone so as to be ready to act instinctively in the moment.

So, what does a life worthy of the Lord look like? If the self-help titles available at the local bookstore are any indication, such a life would be success in all areas of living. But is Jesus’ life, ministry, death, resurrection and glorification all about my success in relationships, money and business? I don’t think so. In fact, and this might sound sacrilegious, I don’t think Jesus cares a whole lot about my success. There are much more important things, such as my salvation.

So, if Scripture and the Church’s teaching are the final assessment of a life worthy of the Lord, then such a life should personify sacrifice — instinctive readiness to give myself for the good of others. A life worthy of the Lord is a cruciform life, a life in which every thought, feeling, and action is shaped by Christ’s cross.

In the movie, Rhino yearns to have Bolt’s signature lightning bolt branded upon his fur. Perhaps I need to yearn more for Christ’s cross branded upon my heart.

Word-Chef

I enjoy writing. Yet, this hasn’t always been the case. I hated writing as a kid. Up through high school, I was a “math geek” and would take equations over essays any time.

My attitude toward writing began evolving sometime in college, after I had changed my major from Information and Computer Science to Pre-Ministry. By the time I graduated from college, I was enjoying the craft more.

Although I’ve enjoyed writing for a couple of decades now, my appreciation for the craft has continued to transform. Upon graduating from college and entering the full-time pastorate, I was filled with youthful zeal and arrogance. I believed writing would be my key to success and notoriety. I dreamed of writing the next book that would unlock spiritual mysteries and capture the hearts of American Christians.

As I matured in my ministry a little, writing became more utilitarian. Words were the tools for teaching, inspiring and leading. I studied great communicators and their techniques in order to become more successful in my own attempts to impart ecclesiastical vision and theological instruction.

Several years ago, writing shifted into a more reflective craft. I was enamored with the idea of wordsmithing. There was something romantic in the vision of a master wordsmith, a skilled artisan of prose who could sense the grain and texture of words and intuitively assemble them into a masterpiece.

The other day I was thinking about writing and I thought about a new image for a writer — a word-chef. For me, this concept captures the mastery and innovation of a wordsmith, but adds a relational dimension. Like a smith, a chef must also be skilled in his or her craft. She must master tastes, textures and temperatures and know how to combine and present them in artistic and palatable ways. This generates layers of complexity since her creation must play upon all of the senses. Yet, ultimately, a chef’s craft is for another person. As much as she loves creating in her medium, her final product is to be consumed and enjoyed by another. Another will admire the blending of colors, inhale the enticing aromas, detect the subtle textures, and have their palate caressed by the flavors.

That’s the direction I want to progress in my writing. I want to put voice to the inherent beauty around me in such a way that it impacts all of the senses. I dream of working with savory words that will roll around in another’s mouth and evoke images that allow them to experience the tang or sweetness of the moment.

This desire bore itself deeply into my thoughts the other day as I was finishing a walk around my neighborhood. In the warm light of a setting sun, I saw a young man and woman saying goodbye to each other. They held each other, kissed and parted. As the young man rode off on his bike and the girl walked down the street, I noticed a slight smile light upon her face.

It was a touching moment that no one else would witness and I wanted to frame it with words, to write a few sentences that would express the ardor and pathos of young love. And all I could do in that moment was fumble with my inability as the words remained just beyond my reach.

Moments like this occur frequently. And as providence allows me to observe them, I’m hoping beyond measure that I will learn to recount those moments with words like a verbal chef, fashioning a sumptuous meal filled with aroma and flavor that unleashes the magic of imagination.

Happy Golden Birthday, Cathy!

Today, my oldest daughter, Catherine, turns 15 years old. It’s her Golden Birthday in that she turns the age of her birth date (15 on the 15th). I looked it up on Wikipedia and discovered that the Golden or Grand Birthday is more commonly called the Star Birthday. This is a once in a lifetime event!

My baby girl has grown into such a lovely young woman. She is so creative and friendly. She can make friends wherever she goes and helps everyone feel welcomed and accepted.

One of my favorite moments of the day is with Catherine. She has to be up early every morning for zero period at school, so she’s getting ready for school when I leave for work. As I leave, she always hugs me, kisses my cheek, and says, “I hope you have a good day!”

Happy Golden Birthday, Catherine! May God grant you many, many, many years. I love you very much.

Fr Stephen and “The Price of the Liturgy”

Fr Stephen’s latest post is definitely a “must-read.” The following is but one of many great quotes in this post:

“To gather together in the Liturgy is to enter a new life.”

Read the entire post HERE.

Fr Ted and “The Church Does Not Exist for Heaven”

I couldn’t let this pass… One of my favorite Orthodox writers, Fr Ted Bobosh (Am I Saved?) quoting my favorite theologian, NT Wright, about one of my favorite topics, the Church as Christ’s physical body on earth. Too cool!

Read it HERE.

Fr Stephen & “A Faith That Cannot Be Defended”

I remember telling Debbie a couple months back that one of the reasons I love Holy Orthodoxy is that it’s a faith so vast and rich that I can never outgrow it. Fr Stephen Freeman’s recent post made me think about my comment and give thanks to God for leading me to this beautiful faith.

Hell’s Turmoil

Christ is Risen! Truly He is Risen!

Today we celebrate Pascha. This is the day Christ rose from the dead, surprising creation with the inbreaking of God’s New Creation. Death has been trampled by death. God’s glorious future has dawned. His throne is moving from heaven to earth (Rev 22:1-5). And all of us may join him in both experiencing and contributing to the renewal.

The following is the climax of the short, yet stirring Paschal sermon of St John Chrysostom:

Hell was in turmoil having been eclipsed.
Hell was in turmoil having been mocked.
Hell was in turmoil having been destroyed.
Hell was in turmoil having been abolished.
Hell was in turmoil having been made captive.

Hell grasped a corpse, and met God.
Hell seized earth, and encountered heaven.
Hell took what it saw, and was overcome by what it could not see.

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?

Christ is risen, and you are cast down!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life is set free!
Christ is risen, and the tomb is emptied of its dead.

For Christ, having risen from the dead,
is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

Glory to God!

Holy & Great Friday 2009

Today  He is suspended on a Tree who suspended the earth over the waters.

Today  He is suspended on a Tree who suspended the earth over the waters.

Today  He is suspended on a Tree who suspended the earth over the waters.

A crown of thorns was placed on the head of the King of angels. He who wore a false purple robe covered the heavens with clouds. He was smitten who, in the Jordan, delivered Adam. The Groom of the Church was fastened with nails, and the Son of the Virgin was pierced with a spear.

Thy sufferings we adore, O Christ!

Thy sufferings we adore, O Christ!

Thy sufferings we adore, O Christ!

Make us to behold thy glorious Resurrection!

Another Surprise!

Back in 2007, Paul Potts stunned the world with his incredible operatic voice on Britain’s Got Talent. The surprise wasn’t his voice, but such a beautiful voice unexpectedly springing from the kind of person everyone assumed Paul was from just his looks.

Well, it’s happened again. This video of Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent, has circulated around the internet and TV, but it’s worth watching repeatedly. It’s a great metaphor of God’s kingdom and an appropriate reminder that authentic beauty can be found in the most unassuming places. I love sneak-attacks by beauty.

If you missed the link above, click HERE to view the YouTube video.

Lazarus Saturday

With epic simplicity the Gospel records that, on coming to the scene of the horrible end of His friend, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). At this moment Lazarus, the friend of Christ, stands for all men, and Bethany is the mystical center of the world. Jesus wept as He saw the “very good” creation and its king, man, “made through Him” (John 1:3) to be filled with joy, life and light, now a burial ground in which man is sealed up in a tomb outside the city, removed from the fullness of life for which he was created, and decomposing in darkness, despair and death. – Very Rev. Paul Lazor, Orthodox Church of America Website

Hell’s Tummy-ache

Today is the last day of Great Lent for Orthodox Christians. Tomorrow begins the journey through Holy Week, climaxing with Pascha on April 19.

Our family is preparing to attend a special service tonight that marks the transition from Great Lent to Holy Week. It’s called The Service of Little Compline with the Canon to Lazarus the Righteous. It anticipates tomorrow, Lazarus Saturday, when we celebrate Christ raising Lazarus as a taste of the soon-arriving Resurrection of Christ.

There’s a portion in tonight’s Canon that I love. In the hymn, Hell is personified at the moment when Christ raises Lazarus:

“I implore thee, Lazarus,” said Hell, “Rise up, depart quickly from my bonds and be gone. It is better for me to lament bitterly for the loss of one, rather than of all those whom I swallowed in my hunger.”

“Why dost thou delay, Lazarus?” cried Hell. “Thy Friend stands calling to thee: ‘Come out’ Go, then, and I too shall feel relief. For since I swallowed thee, all other food is loathsome to me.”

“O Lazarus, why dost thou not rise up swiftly?” cried Hell below, lamenting. “Why dost thou not run straightway from this place? Lest Christ take prisoner the others, after raising thee.”

I love it! Because of Christ, Lazarus gives Hell a four-day tummy-ache. The life of Christ gives Hell indigestion. And releasing Lazarus brings little relief. For in less than a week, Hell will swallow the Undying One. And the life of God will surge forth releasing all from Hell’s gullet.

You can almost hear the Paschal hymn whispering from the future:

“Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life!”

What Day Is It Again?

Because of my long background as a Protestant, I have to admit that there are a lot things about Orthodoxy that I’ve categorized as “strange.” Don’t misunderstand me. It’s all beautiful and filled with incredible meaning and mystery. In fact, I’m sure it’s “strange” to me only because of my context. The more acclimated I become to life in the Orthodox Church, the more natural everything seems. For example, I can no longer imagine a Christian life or worship without icons, incense, chanting, liturgy and a priest, just to name a few aspects.

But I think the one thing that will take much more time to become natural is being out of sync with the rest of my culture in celebrating Easter. The Orthodox Church uses a different calendar in regards to Easter than pretty much the rest of Western Christianity. So rarely does Orthodox Pascha (Easter) fall on the same Sunday as Western Easter. Some years, like this year, the two Easters are a week apart (Orthodox Easter is April 19th while everyone else celebrates Easter on April 12th). Some years, like last year, the two Easters are almost a month apart. Frankly, it’s really weird.

Both my family and Debbie’s family are evangelical Christians. Many of our friends are evangelical Christians. And so, as we approach this weekend, there have been many well-wishes of a “Happy Easter.” I see signs and banners everywhere for Easter services this weekend. My kids have been on Spring break this week. I even get a 1/2 day holiday at work for Good Friday. We’ll probably get together with our families this Sunday, and maybe even have an Easter egg hunt for the kids.

I’m glad Easter is celebrated in our culture. And I’m so thrilled that many people in our lives truly know and celebrate Christ’s resurrection. But it’s so strange delaying our actual celebration while the “rest of the world” prepares for this holiday. As I just mentioned, we’ll join in some of our families’ celebration, but not fully. For what’s Easter’s joy without first journeying through Holy Week?

While Holy Week is climaxing this weekend for those around us, it’s just starting for my family and parish tomorrow with Lazarus Saturday and then moving into Palm Sunday this coming Sunday. Now that I think about it, it’s going to be odd this Sunday morning when our parish processes outside with palm branches the same day all the surrounding churches will be celebrating Easter. And on that same day, my family will move from Palm Sunday and the anticipation of Christ’s death directly into the joy of Easter with our families and then back into the somberness of Holy Week with our parish through the rest of the week.

This weekend is a microcosm of our family’s life as new Orthodox Christians. We always feel just slightly out of sync with the rest of our Christian family members and friends. I’m not complaining, mind you. Debbie and I value the people God has placed in our lives and we have chosen to live closely with them. So that often means coping with quizzical looks when we try to explain why we pray differently, worship differently, eat differently, celebrate strange feasts days, go to confession, use odd words (like Pascha), and say and do a host of other things that are part of our Orthodox life.

Yet I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love Orthodoxy. I love being an Orthodox Christian. Journeying through Lent this year as part of the Orthodox Church has reminded me how much I need the fullness of Christ’s life that is in Holy Orthodoxy. As I’ve alluded in my last several posts, I sense something has “clicked” inside of me. In fact, it’s probably more accurate to say that something that was hindering me “broke” a couple of weeks ago. As I continue settling into Orthodoxy, I’m sensing increasing clarity and stability in my relationship with God, his people and myself. The fears that have whispered to me these last several years are becoming silent, replaced with a growing confidence to move boldly back into life.

Learning to Run Again

One of my favorite photographers is Zeb Andrews. I love looking at his work. What he does with a camera and his imagination is inspiring. He’s written a wonderful post on his website speaking about what makes photography worthwhile. And while his post is photography-specific, I believe the ideas behind it apply to many areas of life. Here’s some of what he has to say:

“Your photography is not limited by your camera, nor your lens.  It is not limited by shutter speeds, aperture, film, focus, flash, white balance, color, black and white, grain, noise, etc.  It is not limited by your budget nor your education.  It is not, and I repeat, not, limited by light.  It is certainly not limited by where you live or where you go.  Your photography is limited simply and quite importantly, only by your own imagination and vision.  All those factors I mentioned (and more) can certainly affect your photography, but ultimately you make of it what you will.  Photography begins and ends with the photographer, the best light in the world, or most advanced metering system will not change that…

“What matters most happens before the picture is even taken, not after.  The worth of your photography is in what gets you up at 4 am in the morning to brave freezing conditions in hopes of a sunrise.  It is what makes you follow your children around all day long patiently snapping frame after frame.  It is what causes you to drive for miles, or walk them, in search of that moment, be it in the middle of a sprawling urban landscape or a natural one.  It is significantly in what keeps you picking up that camera as the fractions of seconds become days, the days months, the months pool into years, and beyond.  It is in this desire to see, to experience, to feel, to celebrate, to remember, to be a part of, to be amazed or amused, that you will find what makes your photography worthwhile.  Everything that comes after the snap of the shutter is merely added drama, and it is never as important as you think it is.”

This isn’t the first time something in photography has opened a window into other areas of my life. As I ponder Zeb’s words, I realize that it’s too easy to slip into laziness. Sure I could give it another name and make up excuses, but bottom-line it’s simple laziness. My slothfulness is one of the areas of my life that I’ve become painfully and shamefully aware of during this Lent.

Years ago, I had a fire within me. I had a passion similar to what Zeb describes. I possessed what I believed to be a calling in my life and I pursued that calling with everything within me. I felt like I was a long-distance runner. With almost two decades of practice, I had found my stride as I stretched ever-forward toward my goal.

And then I stumbled. Or was I tripped? Does it even matter any more? All I know is that I hurt. All I could feel was pain and confusion. When before I had run, now I could only walk and limp. I was no longer confident that everything I had been pursuing was worthwhile anymore. And I chose to become lazy, to stop running and to cast off much of the discipline and structure that had helped me to run.

Recently, I’ve come to realize that if I don’t change, I will become the very thing I’ve always dreaded — nominal. I hear St Paul speaking familiar words:

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” — 1Cor 9:24-27

Now mere days away from Holy Week and the hope of Christ’s transfiguring Pascha before me, I hear the cry (ala Forrest Gump), “Run, Jason, run.” I know the destination is much different than before as are the necessary disiplines and training. And I know I will face much soreness as I use atrophied muscles. But I choose to run again.

Fr Ted & “Beyond the Beginning and the End”

Fr Ted Bobosh has an excellent post about the limitations of our empirical knowledge in regards to the physical universe. I chuckled at the quote by astrophysicst Robert Jastrow:

“At this moment it seems as though science will never be able to raise the curtain on the mystery of creation.  For the scientist who has lived by his faith in the power of reason, the story ends like a bad dream.  He has scaled the mountains of ignorance; he is about to conquer the highest peak; as he pulls himself over the final rock, he is greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries.”

What we do know, as Fr Stephen Freeman states in a recent blog, is “from the very beginning of creation everything made has been made for the purpose of being united together with Christ.”

And I absolutely loved the extended quote by Sergius Bulgakov that formed the bulk of Fr Ted’s post. Whether we contemplate the moment of creation or the eschaton, we are peering into a mist. And any attempts to describe the vague shadows we view in the mist surpasses our human language to express. That’s the mystery and beauty of God’s handiwork.

Repentance

“It is easy indeed to confess that I have not fasted on prescribed days, or missed my prayers, or become angry. It is quite a different thing, however, to realize suddenly that I have defiled and lost my spiritual beauty, that I am far away from my real home, my real life, and that something precious and pure and beautiful has been hopelessly broken in the very texture of my existence.”

Alexander Schmemann, Great Lent

This is the heart of repentance. This is where God’s grace really performs its work during times like Great Lent. Not only do our attitudes, words and actions bob to the surface of my life, but I actually come to grips with the fact that the very waters of my life are turbid and rancid. As Fr Schmemann puts it, I’ve lost my spiritual beauty and something precious, pure and beautiful has been hopelessly broken in the very texture of my existence. I live with this keen awareness during Great Lent. And yet, even this is God’s abundant grace. For it compels my heart to cry out, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner” and to strain toward the renewed life and creation of Pascha.

Developing Proper Habits

“Our culture prefers effortless spontaneity with occasional divine intervention in emergencies.”

So states NT Wright in a recent lecture on Christian virtue called, “Learning the Language of Life.” That one sentence describes most of my early Christian formation, so I feel like I’ve been playing “catch-up” the last decade as a Christian.

One of the reasons why I love Lent is that it exposes my bad habits that interfere with my development into Christ’s likeness — my laziness, gluttony, pride, lust, depression, anger, and greed. And those are just the ones I’m aware of. Sheesh. Most of the time, these things remain hidden in the murky shadows of my heart. But during times like Lent, and especially during Lent, I become aware of this foulness within me.

But to use a sports metaphor, the pain of having these areas exposed is like the soreness I feel when I increase my exercise regimen. The tearing down of my physical muscles is required for the rebuilding of newer, stronger muscles.

It’s similar in the spiritual life. As Wright also states in his lecture, “Everything we do is habit-forming.” Unfortunately, I’ve developed a lot of bad habits. They need to be torn down in order for new ones to be developed. And every year, Lent plays an important role in this ongoing process.

But you may ask, “What about grace?” And the simple answer is that the entire process is grace. By grace, God saw the world’s plight and acted. By grace, God forgives. By grace, God summons us to him. By grace, God immerses us into his Church. By grace, God fills us with his Spirit. By grace, God calls us to participate with him in ours and the world’s continuing renewal.

God’s grace and my effort go hand-in-hand. Not equally, mind you. God’s grace far surpasses any effort I exert. But my exertion and concentration are necessary. It’s how my will, mind, body and emotions actually get face-time with God’s grace. And one day, the proper habits that require so much effort now, will become second nature. They will require less exertion and less concentration as they become deeply embodied within who I am. As that happens, I will be increasingly prepared to live in God’s renewed world, not just in the future, but even here in the present.

Happy 17th Birthday, Michael!

Today, my oldest son, Michael, turns 17! Yesterday, I was browsing through some pictures of him, remembering him as a baby and young boy. He’s grown into such a handsome young man. He’s only about an inch shorter than me right now.

I remember when my relationship with my dad shifted from a father/son relationship into more of a mutual friendship. I was only a couple years older than Michael. That day is quickly approaching with my son and I look forward to developing a deeper adult friendship with him. Michael, I’m proud of you. You’re an intelligent, creative and all-around amazing person.

You Go, Girl!

Earlier this week, Danielle tried out for her school’s show choir and made it! I’m so proud of her. This past year, she’s been a member of her school’s choir and has really enjoyed it. Now she moves to the more advanced group where she’ll learn choreographed moves and perform at shows. My baby girl is growing up!

I Look for the Resurrection of the Dead and the Life of the World to Come.

“I look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.”

In my personal opinion, I think the Symbol of Faith, or the Nicene-Constantinopolitan Creed, is one of the most beautiful works of theology. I absolutely love the Christological, pneumatological and ecclesiological affirmations within the Creed. And I’m deeply moved whenever I think of the men and women who have valiantly lived and died for what the Creed affirms against paganism and heresies.

But my favorite line in the Creed is the last one. Being an eschatological affirmation, it resides properly at the end of the Creed. But because it comes at the end and also stands as a single simple statement alongside the larger complex formulations about Christ, the Holy Spirit and the Church, it almost seems like an afterthought. Yet, I know it isn’t and I anticipate stating this wonderful affirmation every time I recite the Creed at Church or in my personal prayers.

When I was an Evangelical Protestant, I had discovered that my eschatology was severely distorted. If I had even read the Creed back then, I would have equated “the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come” simply as “going to heaven when I die.” The goal of my Christian life was a non-temporal, non-spatial, disembodied existence called “heaven” after I died or after being raptured, just before God destroyed the planet. But that is not the biblical eschatological image within the New Testament.

Rather, the biblical image of the “life of the world to come” is God, through Christ, renewing this creation. This image is communicated in a variety of ways — God’s kingdom coming from heaven to earth (Matt 6:9-10), God gathering all things existing in the two dimension of heaven and earth back together (Eph 1:10), God leading creation in a new Exodus from its bondage into freedom (Rom 8:20-21), God reconciling all things within the two dimensions of heaven and earth (Col 1:19), and God’s city and throne moving from the heavenly dimension to make its ultimate home in the earthly dimension (Rev 21:1-2; 22:3-5).

And it’s within this renewed creation that redeemed humanity will be bodily resurrected and animated by God’s Spirit in order to realize the fullness of our vocation through our resurrected bodies — to fully gather creation and offer it to God and to fully reflect God into creation by our wise stewardship.

Why is this eschatological vision so important? A proper eschatological framework is just as essential as a proper Christological, pneumatological and ecclesiological framework for our life in Christ in the here and now.  Proper living in the present requires the proper vision of the future. Knowing and understanding, as best as possible, the telos or goal of God’s Creation, humanity and our personal life generates both the impulse and direction to move in the proper trajectory towards that future. It’s what we’re living for.

Let me use a simple, and albeit weak, metaphor. Let’s say I’ve decided to join a workout club. An essential component of exercising toward a healthy life is to learn how to use the equipment correctly .

Similarly, the Church provides us with many viable resources to train and enter into the life of Christ. The majority of the Creed instructs us how to properly engage in all that the Church offers. In other words, the proper understanding of Christ, the Holy Spirit and the Church provided by the Creed is necessary for correctly entering into and participating in the sacramental, ascetical, and communal life of the Church, which is the life of Christ. And by participating in the life of Christ through the life of the Church, we commune with God and are transformed by him.

But the last affirmation of the Creed — “I look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come” — is the reason why I “joined the workout club” in the first place. It’s the ultimate reason why I want to commune with God and thus enter into the life of the Church as reinforced by the Creed — to become competent at dwelling and serving properly in God’s renewed world as he always intended for humanity. The last line of the Creed reminds me that my present participation in the life of the Church is training me to breathe, see, think, talk, relate, work, play and live in God’s coming renewed world. And by training towards it now, I’m actually beginning to live it now. Perhaps slowly at first, but hopefully with ever-increasing proficiency.

As we journey through Lent, the eschatological vision of God’s renewed creation appears on the horizon of my imagination and draws me forward. It is the reason why we journey through Lent. It is the vision that Jesus carried with him throughout Israel and ultimately to the cross in order to trample down death by death. It is the vision that Jesus inaugurated with his prototypical resurrection from the dead and continues to implement throughout history. And it is the vision he offers us as we follow him, commune with him, live in him, train to be like him and participate with him in the continual renewal and reconciliation of God’s creation. And, God helping, I will valiantly embody and affirm this vision as all those who have come before me.

The Human Vocation

I’ve been rereading parts of Bishop Kallistos Ware’s The Orthodox Way, specifically the chapter entitled “God as Creator.”

There are some ideas and quotes in this chapter that keep pinging around in my head. Ware states that God has formed two levels of created things: the “noetic” or “spiritual” level and the “material” or “bodily” level. He then states, “Man, and man alone, exists on both levels at once.” This is fascinating to me. In all of God’s vast creation, humanity alone is created to exist and interact on both levels of creation.

Ware then states that by being designed to participate on both levels of creation, humanity is a microcosm of the entirety of creation. And as such, humanity is also the mediator of creation:

“It is his [humanity's] God-given task to reconcile and harmonize the noetic and the material realms, to bring them to unity, to spiritualize the material, and to render manifest all the latent capacities of the created order… As microcosm, then, man is the one in whom the world is summed up; as mediator, he is the one through whom the world is offered back to God.”

I love what this implies. At the ontological level, humanity is created uniquely to live and play simultaneously on both dimensions of creation. At the operational level, humanity’s vocation is, in Ware’s words, “to manifest the spiritual in and through the material.”

I am designed to manifest the spiritual in and through all of the details and activities of my material life. Talk about “fear and trembling!” How I talk, relate, work, think, eat, drive, pray, write, listen, play, rest, and much more are to be ways in which I manifest the spiritual in and through the material. That means I must learn to live every part of my life beyond the material or bodily level of my existence — beyond passions, reason, and even will.

But wait there’s more! Not only are humans designed to be miniature creations, the places where the two dimensions of creation — heaven and earth — come together and are offered back to God, but we are also made in God’s image. Ware states, “Man is the finite expression of God’s infinite self-expression.” My life is to reflect the life and character of God.

In other words, we are not only the image and expression of creation to God, we are also the image and expression of God to creation.

There is so much that can and should be said beyond the scope of this simple post. However, my intention was to refocus my own vision back onto what human life and vocation are all about.

I’m ashamed to admit that I’m easily distracted. I too easily let busyness, worries, fears, desires and other “bright and shiny things” distract me. So I’m hoping that during this Great Lent, my Lord takes me a couple of small steps closer to realizing my vocation in his kingdom. My life is to be both the image of creation and the the image of God. My life is to be the place where heaven and earth are stitched back together. My vocation is to participate in Christ’s ultimate vocation of bringing together and reconciling all things in heaven and earth (Eph 1:10 & Col 1:19-20). And my life is to be his life, the very life of Christ surging and spilling out of me like rivers of living water (Gal 2:20 & John 7:38).

Thru-You.com

HT to Jason Evans for this one. Check out Thru-You.com. This guy mixed a bunch of unrelated Youtube videos into new music. It’s very cool and creative.

Lenten Reflection

Steve Robinson points to a great Lenten reflection worth reading. Take a few moments and enjoy it HERE. Here’s a little sample.

“This Lent I am going to attempt to walk through life like I walk through church in hard soled shoes, or in the kind of shoes that squeak on the polished wood floor. I am going to try to walk softly, deliberately, prayerfully aware of the noise I am making, prayerfully aware of how my actions resonate with and disturb others; I will be quietly ashamed and a little embarrassed.”

Theology, Photography and Reflection

This weekend has been such an exciting one. As I mentioned in my last post, I was gifted with a new Nikon D40x this past week. So I’ve spent the last couple of days shooting with this camera. And the experience has infused me with a renewed enthusiasm to develop my skills in digital photography. So much so that I started a simple photoblog to post my personal images.

Posting my images is more than just showcasing my limited abilities. No, I’ve learned that images speak in ways that words cannot. For the last six years, I have reflected personally and theologically on this blog through words. I enjoy writing. I love taking an idea and crafting words to express that idea. And I hope to continue with this endeavor, especially as I become more immersed and formed by the life of Christ in the Orthodox Church.

But I’ve discovered that theological thought is very different in Orthodoxy than my training and experience in western Protestantism. Theological reflection has been more of a conceptual exercise. Sure, personal reflection and practice have always been intimately connected with theology proper. But the order has been primarily idea first, then practice. This was constantly reinforced with the priority of study as the ever-present backdrop to all theological reflection. I think it also explains why much of my theological study has been accompanied with a constant battle with pride. These were my ideas and conclusions that I worked hard to discern, unravel and formulate.

Yet, in Orthodoxy, only those with deep lives of prayer are considered capable of being theologians. That’s because a life of prayer is a humble life in communion with God. I think it’s safe to say that I have a looong ways to grow. That’s not to say that I’ll stop studying, writing or thinking theologically. But it does mean I need to re-prioritize  my spiritual life so that I’m reformed inwardly. It’s much easier to study, write and think than it is to pray. Just like it’s easier to “proclaim” the Gospel than it is to live it,  or to go even further, to embody it.

Prayer is difficult not because it takes time, but because if practiced properly, it places us in constant vulnerability before God. We are exposed. We’re not asking for things as much as presenting our sin-filled, broken selves to a merciful God. As grateful as we are for the availability of God’s salvation, we are brutally aware of our constant need to actually be saved. As we pray in Divine Liturgy:

“I believe, O Lord, and I confess that Thou art truly the Christ, the Son of the Living God, Who camest into the world to save sinners, of whom I am first.”

The more I pray with the Orthodox Church, the more these words shift from a nice spiritual sentiment to the actual cry of my sin-filled heart.

That’s why photography is a wonderful medium of expression, reflection, and even prayer. My eye is being trained to “look for shots.” But it’s more than just capturing light, color and texture. There are shots that stir something deep within me. I don’t know why. I can look at a series of shots of the same subject and one will leap out, grab my attention and sometimes take my breath away.

Even though my eye is focused on a subject outside of myself, it’s actually reflecting something from within me. Something within me is responding to the beauty or truth expressed in that moment, in that image. And it’s something that escapes words.

For example, yesterday, I walked around the perimeter of my apartment complex and took a series of shots of things I see everyday. There were a number of shots that I looked at and immediately hit the delete button. There were several that I’m keeping to look at, reflect upon and develop further. And there are a couple that immediately struck at the depth of who I am.

One was the shot of the bricks that I posted on my photoblog. Another is an image of a trash dumpster that I want to develop and post soon. And another was this photo of a fence formed from distressed wood.

The knotted and scarred planks remind me of the saints, the men and women throughout history that experienced untold hurt, discipline and pain. And yet, the scars became intimate communion with God. The discipline was transformed into holy dispassion. These wooden planks remind me of the icons I venerate. Faithful lives that weathered the storms of adversity, eventually to be revealed as lives perfected in Christ for all of us to emulate.

And it stirs the longing to be found faithful in my life, to live a life worthy of my Lord. As Fr Patrick preached about on Sunday, I am stained with gluttony and lust and a variety of other sins. I am still shaped by my pleasure-seeking culture and scarred by my past participation. So I pray, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.” And as I pray, I am aware of the convergence of contradictions — the holy mercy of God and the absolute despair of my condition. As the two meet and kiss, there is not immediate relief. Nor should there be. For the injury goes too deep. It requires continual therapy, healing beneath the scarred surface. For the remedy is nothing less than the transformation of who I am. And that is Christ in me, the hope of glory of which St Paul wrote.

Perhaps that is why in Orthodoxy theology flows from prayer. One must become right in order to live and think right. Glory to God!

New Photoblog

I love looking at good photography. Images can communicate in ways that words cannot. A few years ago I bought a Canon PowerShot A620 with the intention of developing basic skills in digital photography. I admit that I’m not great, but I’ve had a lot of fun taking pictures. Recently, I was gifted with a Nikon D40x. The move from a point-and-shoot to a DSLR is very exciting for me and has injected me with a lot of enthusiasm to take my basic skills to the next level.

So… in anticipation of the photos I’ll be taking, I’ve started a simple photoblog. I’ve already posted  a couple of images that I took over the last couple of years on my PowerShot. I’ll probably be posting several more of these older shots during this time that I learn to use my Nikon as well as learn to use Pixelmator and Capture NX2.

Myrrh-Streaming Icon

This evening, our family had the incredible opportunity to visit St Luke’s in Garden Grove to venerate the Holy Hawaiian-Iveron Icon. This icon is a myrrh-streaming icon. Although this icon is simply made of wood and paper, it miraculously began emitting myrrh in 2007.

The history of this icon is absolutely amazing. This icon is actually a printed copy of the Montreal myrrh-streaming icon of the Theotokos, which miraculously began emitting myrrh in 1982. And that icon was a hand-painted copy of the original Iveron Icon of the Theotokos, which according to Orthodox tradition, was painted by the Apostle Luke. Yes, the same Luke who wrote the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles.

The amazing history is lengthy, so I’ll just post links. Click HERE to read the history of the original and Montreal myrrh-streaming icons. And then click HERE to read the history of the Holy Hawaiian-Iveron Icon.

So what do you do with a miraculous myrrh-streaming icon? I struggled with this question all week in anticipation of our visit. I’ve long since gotten past my old Protestant hang-ups about icons. The Seventh Ecumenical Council declared, “Icons do with color what Scripture does with words.” (By the way, Fr Stephen has just posted a good blog post entitled, “Icons and Scripture” that is worth reading.)

I love icons. They are windows into heaven. They constantly remind me of the communion of the saints and their intercessions on my behalf. They spur me to live a godly life. I can’t imagine ever going back to worship or daily life without icons. They are a significant part of the wealth and fullness of the faith that I’ve discovered in Orthodoxy.

But, icons that leak aromatic myrrh? At this point, all I can say is God’s grace is beauty shrouded in mystery. Grace is not some disembodied force floating around somewhere nor comes to us in a vacuum. Grace is God’s activity, his energies. And he anchors it in his creation. He offers his grace through water, through incense, through bread and wine, through oil, through paint, paper and wood, through words, through prayers, through my priest. Grace and creation go hand-in-hand. In fact, creation is truly being creation as God destined when it’s the means of God’s grace.

So, I don’t have any rational explanation why God would choose to anchor and offer his grace through an icon that streams myrrh. But it’s absolutely beautiful. The myrrh smells like roses. And the icon is of the tender Mother of God, the premiere disciple who is praying for our salvation. I was deeply moved when Fr Michael brought the icon up the aisle and laid it upon the analogion. 

Hmmm…. A humble, unpretentious 7 x 9 inch plank of wood with a printed copy of the Holy Mother of God directing our attention to Christ and miraculously emitting a heavenly fragrance. Now that I think about it, it seems to be the typical way God reveals himself and offers his grace. And my response is to acknowledge it, to honor it, to pray and to worship a God who lavishes grace in such beautiful and mysterious ways.

  

The Limits of Spontaneous Prayer

I am so amazed at how Orthodoxy is such a treasure house of resources for spiritual growth. One of these resources that I’m enjoying is written prayers. Throughout my entire Christian life, spontaneity was valued as being truly spiritual. This was especially true with prayer.

However, in his book, Beginning to Pray, Met Anthony Bloom states that while spontaneous prayer is a valid form of prayer, it’s only really possible in two situations. That’s because spontaneous prayer is a kind of prayer that “gushes out of our own souls.” Therefore, spontaneous prayer is only possible either in situations when we are vividly aware of God and that awareness calls forth a response of worship and joy or we are suddenly aware of our desperation and despair and cry out to God to save us. In this light, Met Bloom states:

“It [spontaneous prayer] comes from the depths of our soul, from either wonder or distress, but it does not come from the middle situation in which we are neither overwhelmed by the divine presence nor overwhelmed by a sense of who we are and the position in which we are. So that, at those moments, to try to use a spontaneous prayer is a completely illusory exercise.”

But Met Bloom also says it’s not enough to learn and use existing prayers, but also to live them. “A prayer makes sense only if it is lived.” He advises that when we discover a phrase in a prayer that makes sense, “you must try to apply it in the course of the day ruthlessly, for as long as you can.”

All of these thoughts on prayer came to a point when I read Shawn Ragan’s newest post, called “A Hymn of St Ephraim.” (Click on the link and take a moment to read the whole prayer.)

There is no way in my most creative and spiritual moments of spontaneity that I could have ever said anything like this. This is a prayer with which I resonate. It communicates the repentance I desire to experience, yet do not have the words to express. Orthodoxy is filled with such beautiful and powerful prayers as these.

Another prayer that we pray and with which Shawn ends his blog post is, “Through the prayers of our holy fathers, O Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on us and save us. Amen.” In this prayer, I’m not only asking for the intercessions of the Saints, who are in the presence of Christ, for my salvation, but I’m also asking that my own use of their prayers — both through my voice and my life — will be unto my salvation as well.

Fr Stephen & “Kalomiros on the Orthodox Life”

Fr Stephen has posted a wonderful excerpt from Dr. Kalomiros’ book, Nostalgia for Paradise. These thoughts on the Orthodox life are so balanced and come to me at such an appropriate time. Just a couple of nights ago, Debbie and I were talking about my self-imposed spiritual disciplines as a Protestant. And just the other day, Fr Patrick was reminding me of our family’s need to spend time learning a new rhythm of being Orthodox.

Now I read Dr. Kalomiro’s words and quite frankly, I just want to cry. I want to cry out of repentance for the pride and hardness created by imposing practices upon myself that were beyond the measure of grace given to me. I want to cry out of joy for the beautiful vision of what a true human life in Christ looks like. And I want to cry out of thankfulness for now being a member of a Church that can actually nurture me with wisdom into the life in Christ for which I have longed. 

There is so much in this short excerpt that grips me. If I were to cut and paste good quotes, I would need to simply paste the entire excerpt. But this one paragraph is the clincher for me. I dream of living this kind of life:

“It is a modest soul that is out of its waters in the limelight of men but blooms in solitude and quiet. It is a heart free to its very roots, impervious to every kind of pressure, far from every kind of stench, untouched by any kind of chains. It distinguishes truth from falsehood with a certain mystic sense. Its every breath offers gratitude for all of God’s works that surround it and for every joy and every affliction, for every possession, and for every privation as well. Crouching humbly on the Cornerstone which is Christ, it drinks unceasingly of the eternal water of Paradise and utters the Name of Him who was and is ever merciful. Such a soul is like a shady tree by the running waters of the Church, with deep roots and a high crown where kindred souls find comfort and refuge in its dense branches.”

Icon New Media Network

“At the center of the Icon New Media Network, we believe that Orthodox Christianity is the future of American Spirituality. Our desire is to introduce Orthodox Christianity to emergent, post-evangelical and non-Christian audiences. Through the use of new media (blogs, podcasts, video, etc.) we aim to create environments where Orthodox Christians and those interested in this radical ancient faith can converse about and collaborate on resources that lead to a fuller understanding of Christianity. This is done by providing places for people to gather and communicate both online and offline about the relevance and necessity of our 2000-year-old Church.”

The quote is from the Icon New Media Network website, a site in which I’m very interested. Although I haven’t explored the site in any depth, I’m excited about an Orthodox ministry dedicated to speaking to “emergent, post-evangelical and non-Christian audiences.” I love environments that are conducive to conversations. Call it rebellion, but I hate being told what I have to believe or do without a chance to talk, think and process.

For me, my association with the Emerging Church was a wonderful transition to explore the richness and fullness of Orthodox Christianity. I believe the same might be true for others in the Emerging Church. In addition, our culture is in a weird place. Whether we call it “postmodernity” or “liquid modernity” or some other label, our culture is not where it was thirty years ago. So any engagement that the Orthodox Church has with western culture will need to involve relationship and conversation.

Personally, I believe Jesus is still our best example. He is the Truth. His very being defines what Truth is. And one of the primary things we observe in Jesus is the relational nature of Truth. Truth is not cold, impersonal or abstract as western culture has tended to define it. Truth, as defined by Jesus, is personal and gives birth to true Life, Love and Reality. And the Orthodox Church has preserved the fullness of the Truth within its life and Tradition for centuries. One of the most amazing things I discovered about Orthodoxy this past year was how vibrant, Spirit-filled and life-giving its Tradition can be.

So, I’m excited about Icon New Media Network and any other Orthodox ministry that is willing to share the beauty, life and fullness of the Faith with those hungering for Christ and His Church.

Sealed!!

This morning, ten of us, including my family, were received into the Holy Orthodox Church. It was such an amazing moment. Here are several reasons:

• Knowing our family and friends were there to support us. Thank you Mom and Dad H, Mom & Dad Z, Linda, Steve, Maribeth, Caleb, Jennifer, Fr Michael & Kh Kyra, Mic & Ginny, and David. And thank you David H. for filming the entire service.
• Seeing the excitement on our friends’ faces from St Peters. Thank you to each person at St Peters who has prayed for us, encouraged us and supported us this past year. And a special thanks to our family’s sponsors — Dn Rico, Kh Christina, Aaron, Elly, Lisa & Robert.
• Watching my best friend, Mark, be baptized.
• Hearing the beautiful and spiritually rich prayers.
• Holding my candle as a symbol of my heart becoming illuminated.
• Being signed with the chrism (Holy Oil) as Fr Patrick made a sign of the cross on my forehead, eyes, nostrils, mouth, ears, chest, hands and feet, while each time saying, “The Seal and Gift of the Holy Spirit” to which the entire congregation responded by saying “Sealed!”
• Receiving the real Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist for the very first time. Absolutely awesome!!
• Receiving the cross on a chain around my neck as a constant sign of my life in Christ.
• Being encouraged to invoke the prayers of our patron saints.
• Knowing that from this day forward my family and friends will live and grow in the fullness of Christ’s life through the nurturing care of the Church.

A lot more can and must to be said about today. It was momentous in ways that I’m still trying to fathom. All day, I have been sensing something deep, and to this point beyond words, simmering inside of me. It’s similar to what I remember experiencing after other life-changing events, like my wedding day or my children’s birth. Each of those events marked the end of a specific journey and the beginning of a new journey that would prove far greater and life-impacting than I could have anticipated. I have been sensing the same thing since this morning’s service. We’re Orthodox and I suspect it will change everything. And I love it.

You can view photos from the event on the St Peter’s website by clicking HERE.

Coming Home

Back in April, I posted my reflections about my friends’ reception into the Holy Orthodox Church. One of the most moving moments was when Fr Patrick whispered into the ear of one of my friends and said “Welcome home.” Even as I write this eight months later, I still remember the ache in my heart at hearing those words. It seems my entire Christian journey, which began back about 25 years ago, has been one of searching for “home.” As much as I have encountered the Living Christ throughout the various stages of my journey, I’ve always known that he has been leading me somewhere.

My family’s experiences during the Paschal season at St Peters convinced me that Holy Orthodoxy was the “home” I’ve been searching for, even though I never would have envisioned it as such through most of my journey.

And now this coming weekend, a new phase of my journey begins as our family and our best friends, Mark and Barbara, are received into the Holy Orthodox Church. My entire family is very excited and a bit nervous. In some ways, I feel like the prodigal son finally coming home. And the warmth and love from our friends at St Peters and St Lukes, as they anticipate our reception this weekend, has embodied the Father running to meet me and my family and to usher us into his home.

But coming home isn’t the end of the story. It never is. Life, even New Life, goes on. The story will continue as we learn to live in the Father’s home with our brothers and sisters, fully communing with the Living Christ. Knowing the depths of my own heart, I know I will make mistakes and offend. And I know I will be offended. I learned long ago that when two or more Christians gather… someone’s going to get hurt. But everything we will experience — the joys, the sorrows, the forgiveness, the thrills, the pains — is for our salvation if experienced and processed properly. Fortunately, our family is part of a larger family with the same desire to commune with Christ and to grow into his likeness. Now in our new larger family we will worship together, commune together, fast together, pray together, serve together, and love together, as we are guided by a wise and caring priest who embodies Christ, aids in our confession, gives us spiritual direction, teaches us, and extends God’s grace through His holy Mysteries and as we are joined by the entire Body of Christ as they are made known through the icons, hymns and stories.

And the ones of whom I am the proudest and most moved are my family. Debbie’s courage at the unknown and her embracing of the various disciplines of prayer and fasting have continually inspired me. My children’s quick receptivity of Orthodox theology and practice, such as venerating the icons, led me into a fuller practice and experience of Christ’s life. And although I was the one that initiated our one-year commitment to attend St Peters, it has been my family that has quietly encouraged me to stay connected when all of my wounds and fears from the past screamed for me to remain disconnected at best or to pull me away at worst. I really believe I have been the “weakest link” in my family’s journey to Orthodoxy. And I am very thankful for their living example of strength and courage, especially in my weakness.

I cannot express how thrilled I am as I anticipate standing with my wife and children and friends in our “Chrismation whites” with our sponsors to be received into the Father’s home and to fully eat at his table. And while I am painfully aware of my unworthiness, I am even more grateful for the overabundance of my Savior’s and God’s grace.

I’m finally home. Glory to God!

Happy Birthday, Debbie!

Today is Debbie’s birthday. I really believe that my wife is the greatest thing I have going for me in life. Everyday I’m filled with amazement that she chose to take my name and give me her life. She is truly God’s gift to me and I cherish her with everything I have. She’s my best friend and there isn’t another person on this planet with whom I would rather spend time. I love her humor, her intelligence, her compassion, and her wit. And, boy, is she a Looker! We have shared the greatest moments of our lives together. We’ve cried, laughed, yelled and whispered as husband and wife, now going on twenty years. And God willing, we will journey together and grow more deeply in love for decades to come.

There’s a commercial on TV that shows a young couple strolling past an elderly couple, who are slowly walking and holding hands. That’s my vision of a life well-lived. I want to be holding hands with my best friend and lover when we’re old and wrinkly. I want to see her look at me and smile with that twinkle that is for me alone.

I love you, Debbie. Happy Birthday!

Not of This World

“My kingdom is not of this world.”  -Jesus of Nazareth

During this Nativity Fast, I was reminded of a quote made by N.T. Wright that goes something like “Jesus’ kingdom is not of this world, but it is for this world.” What a wonderful summary of the Incarnation! Jesus’ kingdom doesn’t originate from nor is fueled by the same energies and economies of this world’s kingdoms.

And yet, his otherly-world kingdom is God’s remedy for the transformation and healing of this world. It spills over from God’s heavenly dimension into this broken earthly dimension. And it reconciles the great divorce between these two dimensions of God’s creation. It goes about stitching, as it were, the two layers of creation back together again until one day Jesus’ and the Church’s prayer will be ultimately realized in God’s New Creation when his kingdom will truly come on earth as it is in heaven.

My hope is that the two layers are being stitched together in my own life so I’m able to participate in God’s larger project in the world as well as become a person who will live naturally in his new world.

Anthony Bloom on Weakness & Humility

I’ve started reading Beginning to Pray by Metropolitan Anthony (Bloom) of Sourozh and I’m really enjoying what he has to say. Most Protestant books on prayer that I’ve read seem too mechanistic as if what we do or say will somehow invoke God’s presence or response. Not so with this book. So far, this book is about plowing the soil of our own hearts, learning to become true pray-ers. Two quotes stand out, one about weakness and the other about humility.

Here’s the one on weakness:

“Weakness is not the kind of weakness which we show by sinning and forgetting God, but the kind of weakness which means being completely supple, completely transparent, completely abandoned in the hands of God… You could think of that [weakness] also in terms of a sail. A sail can catch the wind and be used to maneuver a boat only because it is so frail. If instead of a sail you put a solid board, it would not work; it is the weakness of the sail that makes it sensitive to the wind.”

And here’s the one on humility:

“The word ‘humility’ comes from the Latin word ‘humus’ which means fertile ground… Humility is the situation of the earth. The earth is always there, always taken for granted, never remembered, always trodden on by everyone, somewhere we cast and pour out all the refuse, all we don’t need. It’s there, silent and accepting everything and in a miraculous way making out of all the refuse new richness in spite of corruption, transforming corruption itself into a power of life and a new possibility of creativeness, open to the sunshine, open to the rain, ready to receive any seed we sow and capable of bringing thirtyfold, sixtyfold, a hundredfold out of every seed.”

There used to be a saying about prayer, “Prayer changes things.” Nowadays, I’m hoping prayer changes me as well. I hope I learn to embrace the proper weakness in which God’s power is manifested by making me humble.

Lord, may my life become like the dirt and soil of the earth; an ordinary, unobtrusive place where the pain and poison of this broken world silently fall, are absorbed, and miraculously transformed into new life.

Happy 40th Birthday, Mouse!

I just read on Lifehacker that today is the 40th birthday of the computer mouse. Considering that my hand is on a mouse most of my day, this a milestone worth noting. I wish I had a picture of all the mice I’ve owned. My favorite so far is the wireless Mighty Mouse by Apple (pictured below).

Update: Click HERE to see pictures of the original mouse.

Fr Stephen & “It Is But a Small Thing”

Fr Stephen posts a great reminder of how the small thoughts, attitudes and actions in our daily lives are so important. When I was a younger man, my goal was to do great things for God. I dreamt of leaving a magnificent legacy that would far outlive my earthly life. My sight was always straining toward the horizon, waiting for that moment when I would do something big for God.

Now I’m a bit older and hopefully a bit wiser. And with some age, my goals have changed. I strive to be a good husband, a good father, a good friend and hopefully a good man. And this is lived out not by great momentous deeds, but by the many small, insignificant moments in my life. An encouraging smile. An attentive ear. A compassionate hand. And as my gaze shifts from the horizon to the present moment, I can better see what Fr Stephen describes in his closing thought:

“This is the day of salvation. It may come in a thousand discreet moments, every one of which is alive with the fire of God.”

May I learn more and more to be warmed and ignited by the fire within these moments.

Fr Gregory’s Reflection on the Walmart Tragedy

I’m sure everyone who has heard about death of the Walmart employee on Friday morning is sickened by what happened. I had originally decided not to blog about it because, while I had some thoughts forming, I felt I had nothing substantial to offer but my own sadness and revulsion at what happened.

This morning, Fr Gregory posted a thoughtful reflection on that event that I believe is worth reading. We simply can’t shake our heads at this tragedy as if we’re innocent and then go on with our consumerist lives as usual. Sure, we can tell ourselves that we would never have participated in such an atrocity. But we all participate in the same spirit of the age that caused Friday’s event. That’s why Fr Gregory’s call to both contemplation and action must be heard, especially during the Nativity season. For it is this very darkness and death that resides in all of us that Christ came to conquer.

Met. Kallistos Ware & “The Cosmic Christ”

Fr Stephen posts a meditation offered by Met. Kallistos Ware. You can read the entire post HERE. The quote below contains the final thoughts of that meditation:

“Do we reflect sufficiently, I wonder, upon the environmental implications of our Lord’s Incarnation, upon the way in which Jesus is ecologically inclusive, embedded in the soil like us, containing within His humanity what has been termed ‘the whole evolving earth story’?

“Do we allow properly for the fact that our Savior came to redeem, not only the human race, but the fullness of creation? Do we keep constantly in mind that we are not saved from but with the world?

“Such, then, is our Orthodox vision of creation; such is our vocation as priests of the created order; such is our Christian reponse to the ecological crisis. Such is the deeper meaning implicit in the words that we say daily at the beginning of Vespers: ‘Bless the Lord, O my soul’.”

I love the thought of Jesus being “ecologically inclusive, embedded in the soil like us.” I am so thrilled that Orthodoxy has such a vibrant understanding of Creation. The Church’s understanding of Christ’s Incarnation provides the ultimate framework for a sound theology of and ministry toward Creation.

In fact, since 1989, much of the Orthodox Church observes September 1, the first day of the Church’s liturgical year, as the Feast of Creation. In a paper called, “Orthodox Liturgy and the Care for Creation,” Bishop Irineu offers the following thought:

“The vocation of humanity, as shown in liturgical theology, is not to dominate and exploit nature, but to transfigure and hallow it. In a variety of ways – through the cultivation of the earth, through craftsmanship, through the writing of books and the painting of icons – humanity gives material things a voice and renders the creation articulate in praise of God.”

Christ’s Incarnation fulfills humanity’s divine mandate in Genesis to be the stewards and caretakers of Creation. He is the ultimate steward of Creation, rescuing both his eternal family of co-stewards and Creation itself from the clutches of brokenness, sin and death. Jesus tramples down death and offers his life, which enables us to embrace our true vocation as Creation’s cultivators and craftsmen that gives it a voice of praise to God.

Visit to Oak Glen

This past weekend, Debbie attended a Women’s Retreat in Santa Barbara. David called me up and asked if I wanted to take the kids out to Oak Glen with him. We agreed and am I’m glad we did! The weather was beautiful and we had a fun time. Click HERE to view pictures in my MobileMe Gallery.

And if you want to see the kids making Apple Cider, click HERE.

Saying “Good-bye” and “Hello”

Since tomorrow is a holiday (Veteran’s Day), I decided to take today as a vacation day and thus extend my weekend. This afternoon both closed a chapter in my life and revisited another.

About five years ago, upon leaving full-time pastoral ministry, a few of us in our newly-founded faith-community decided to start a wedding video business called inFocus Video Productions. This endeavor was to provide supplemental income for us as well as to provide a way to incarnate Christ’s presence through our lives and skills. Earlier this year, we decided to close our business. We filmed our last wedding in late October and officially closed our virtual doors early this month. Today, I cleaned and packed all of my video equipment to sell on Ebay. While being a wedding videographer was physically demanding and took me away from my family on many Saturdays, I enjoyed the last five years. I got to work closely with two of my best friends, hone my creative skills, and quietly serve and pray for the various couples on their wedding day. Now, as I type this, there is a vacant spot in a small corner of my bedroom where I stored my video equipment. I’m glad we decided to close our business, but today I’m also a bit sad that it’s over.

After packing my video equipment into my car, I drove to the Asian Access offices where I worked for three years after leaving professional ministry. Today, the office staff celebrated 25 years of wonderful service of the office receptionist, Ellen Hale. Ellen is an incredible person and is literally the voice of Asian Access as she answers the office phones. She has impacted hundreds, if not thousands, of people by incarnating Jesus’ life through her joy, her gentle disposition and her faithful prayer. I am so glad I was able to celebrate this great milestone with her. I was moved as I watched a video of Asian Access missionaries personally thank Ellen for her impact in their lives and ministry. Joe Handley, the new president of Asian Access, has posted a nice tribute to Ellen on his blog. This past year, I have missed my Asian Access friends. This afternoon was a nice time visiting with them as well as meeting Dana, who replaced me as the Staff Accountant, Joe, Silk and Margaret.

Rainbow at Work

My co-worker told me to come outside when she arrived at the office. This is what I saw:

A few minutes later, it turned into a double rainbow.

Perhaps today will be a pot-of-gold kind of day!

Life Statement

I came across this line from an Orthodox funeral service and I think I found my new life statement:

“I am the image of Your inexpressible glory, even though I bear the wounds of sin.”

The Future?

Bummer!

Yesterday, a seventh-grade boy tripped Danielle at lunch and the fall broke her wrist. Fortunately, she was able to get the bright green cast she wanted.

Thankful for the Whole Journey

This weekend, Debbie and I had a good conversation about our journey to Orthodoxy. And as I reflected on our dialogue, I’ve become more aware of a few things.

God is truly leading our family in our journey to Orthodoxy. I have longed for a Christianity that is historically, spiritually and theologically rich and vibrant. And as I have mentioned in previous posts, we truly believe we have found it. Fr Thomas Hopko communicated the fullness of life and faith that we’re experiencing in Orthodoxy in his lecture, “When is Armageddon?” when he said:

“The Orthodox Church has nothing except everything we need… What we need is God the Father, the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit and the Scriptures, the sacramental life of the Church, the liturgical services of the Church and the teachings, the witness and the blood of the saints.”

As a father, it is moving when I listen to my children recite the Nicene-Constantinopolitan Creed or pray the Lord’s Prayer, or when I watch them cross themselves or venerate an icon. We have found a place where our children will be raised in the fullness of the Faith.

I wish I could explain how utterly awe-inspiring and humbling it is to participate in a virtually unchanging Divine Liturgy that Christians globally and historically have used for centuries, a Divine Liturgy that faithfully has escorted millions of Christians to a moment that transcends time and space into God’s kingdom and communion with our Lord, God and Savior Jesus Christ. 

And it’s a wonderful thing to know that unlike my evangelical experience, there will never be a need for “trends” or “movements” (i.e. charismatic movement, Purpose-driven life movement, spiritual warfare movement, church growth movement) because we have and will always have everything we need to journey into Christ’s life and likeness. Everything we need is here. In Orthodoxy, to borrow again from Fr Hopko, we have “The Holy Spirit, who lives in the life of the Church through the Scriptures, the Sacraments, the Services and the Saints.” While there surely is room for further reflection, study, and adaptation, there is absolutely no need for additions or supplements to our faith and practices.

Now having said this, I’m also aware that everything I have experienced beforehand has been God-ordained. I am eternally grateful for the churches and movements I’ve participated in during my journey with Christ. 

In Calvary Chapel, I came to know Christ as my Lord and Savior and to cultivate a love for the Scriptures. 

In Youth With a Mission, I explored and confirmed my calling into ministry, participated in overseas missions, and learned how to live in Christian community. 

At the First Baptist Church in Azusa, I was entrusted with my first youth ministry and opportunities to preach and teach.

At the San Gabriel Valley Japanese Christian Church, I experienced a vibrant Christian community and was given further room to grow in various ministries, including worship, youth, and preaching.

In the Vineyard, I experienced God’s intimacy and learned to live with risk-taking faith. It was there that I learned all of the aspects of local church ministry and honed my personal and ministerial values.

In the Emerging Church, I enjoyed the freedom of theological and missional exploration, the creativity of making theology accessible and relevant to everyone, and the camaraderie of theological conversation where everyone learned from one another without agenda and power struggles.

So as my family and I stand on the threshold of entering the Orthodox Church, I recognize that my being here is the natural and logical destination of my journey in and through all that I have mentioned. I can see God’s hand in each place in the journey as he used different people and movements to “tutor” me into a more vibrant and well-rounded faith that ultimately has led me here. I hold many fond memories and valuable lessons dear to me and know that I would not be here if not for God leading me in and through Calvary Chapel, YWAM, the Baptist Church, the Japanese Church, the Vineyard, the Emerging Church, as well as Azusa Pacific University, Fuller Theological Seminary and many other people and influences along the way. I admit that all of my experiences have been a mingling of joy and pain. But I truly love where I have been.

As I affirm the fullness of the Orthodox Church, it is not to discredit or disparage those in my past, but to thank and appreciate all who have contributed to my journey. Because of them I am here. Aware of this, my zeal for the Orthodox faith is not a renunciation of all I have learned and experienced as it is the affirmation of all the good I have learned and experienced. With deep thankfulness and gratefulness, I pray I am able to bring all of that good with me into my Orthodox faith.

This is very important to me because I’m also very aware that one brings his or her baggage into the Orthodox faith. An angry Protestant Christian simply becomes an angry Orthodox Christian. An insensitive Roman Catholic Christian simply becomes an insensitive Orthodox Christian. I bitter Emerging Church Christian simply becomes a bitter Orthodox Christian. Recently, I’ve heard Orthodox Christians on a few occasions speak with anger or mockery about the Protestant faith from which they have converted. And this saddens me. It contributes to the perceived superiority and exclusivity of Orthodoxy held by many. There is absolutely no grace in that kind of behavior. And being fully aware of the wounds and anger still residing in my own heart, I know I can easily become like this as well. 

So I hope and pray for grace, for generosity, for the ability to listen to another’s perspective, for understanding, and ultimately for love. My goal in converting to Orthodoxy is that I would become a better man, to become like Jesus so that I would learn to love God, people and creation better as time goes on.

Fr Hopko & “When is Armageddon?”

Shawn Ragan points to a wonderful two-hour video by Fr Thomas Hopko called “When is Armageddon?” I converted it into an audio file and listened to it yesterday during my commute to work. I’ve always enjoyed Fr Hopko’s teaching and this gem of a lecture encapsulates a lot of why I enjoy him. In many ways, a lot of what Fr Hopko teaches in regard to the Gospel, the Incarnation and eschatology aligns with what I enjoyed in N.T. Wright’s teaching, but from a distinctly Orthodox perspective. Here is a nugget from the first half of the lecture:

“This world, as we know it, is not destroyed and the New Creation is not made out of nothing. The renewed creation is this world saved, redeemed, sanctified, deified, glorified by the risen Christ, who in the Apocalypse is the Son of God, the Son of Man, and 38 times, the Lamb of God who is slain, who is dead and is alive again and is fighting against the Beast, which is the symbol of Babylon, this world that is not only against God, but in place of God.”

That one quote alone is absolutely awesome. One of the major popular evangelical doctrines I abandoned years ago (with N.T. Wright’s influence) was the distorted eschatology that God will one day destroy this world. This doctrine is intimately linked with the popular doctrine of the rapture, which I also abandoned years ago, and contributes to the false idea that God is only interested in saving souls, which he would someday extract from this creation that was destined for destruction. But that’s not the biblical image. God created this world and placed humans as the caretakers of this world to govern and nurture this world as his image-bearers. As humanity goes, so creation goes. When we plunged ourselves into disobedience and distortion, we dragged creation with us. And as St Paul says in Romans 8: 19-21:

“For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.”

Creation isn’t yearning for its own destruction. It’s yearning for its freedom and renewal that will be realized through the life of Christ in and through God’s children. That’s because creation isn’t an afterthought nor simply the backdrop to the human drama. Look at the relationship between Christ and creation that St Paul describes in Colossians 1:15-16:

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation; for in him all things in heaven and on earth were created, things visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or powers — all things have been created through him and for him.”

Christ is the firstborn of all creation. This world is his and is not destined for destruction. This world was created in him, through him and for him. And it will be re-created in him, through him and for him.

As Christ renews humanity, creation’s caretakers, he renews creation. That’s why I love the words Fr Hopko uses to describe the renewed creation — saved, redeemed, sanctified, deified and glorified by the risen Christ. Those words are normally associated with humanity, but he uses them to describe the renewed creation. And ultimately, when we jump to the end of Revelation, it is this renewed earth that finally becomes the place where God’s throne dwells. Jesus’ prayer, “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” is finally fulfilled in the renewed creation.

Eschatology is extremely important to me. Christians are to be eschatological people. We are to learn how to live in the present in anticipation of God’s future. So how we understand God’s future determines how we live right now. If we believe that God is going to destroy this world once he’s extracted all of his redeemed people from it, ala the Left Behind series, then we don’t need to live with any kind of impulse toward issues such as environmental responsibility and social responsibility since “it’s going to burn anyways.” But if we believe that we are truly God’s ordained stewards of his creation and that he is saving, redeeming, sanctifying, deifying and glorifying this world by Christ and through us as Christ’s people and followers, then we will live very differently right now.

I’ve been thrilled to discover that the Orthodox Church is very eschatologically-aware. The Divine Liturgy is eschatological. Here’s a quote from a recent blog post by Fr Stephen Freeman:

“Christianity is inherently eschatological - it is precisely about the end of things and about a very specific end. The meaning of Orthodox worship is found in the fact that we believe ourselves to be standing in the very end of all things as we celebrate the Divine Liturgy. Even the Second Coming is referred to in the past tense. The End has come and Christ is victorious and as His people, Baptized into His death and resurrection, that End is our hope and our own victory.”

In Orthodoxy, eschatology shapes everything — our worship, our daily living and our mission. We follow Christ, obey his commands, wait in vigil, participate in the Divine services, ask for intercession from the saints, and pray in anticipation of the eschaton — the age to come when the world is fully renewed in Christ and flooded with God’s glory as God’s throne is finally established on earth as it is in heaven.

We are Catechumens!

     

This morning, our family was enrolled as catechumens at St Peter’s. While it was a fairly short moment, it was filled with much significance and meaning. Several years ago as an Evangelical, I read the following quote from St Cyprian of Carthage, who lived in the early 3rd century:

“He cannot have God for his Father who has not the Church as his Mother.”

At the time, I was learning the incredible value of spiritual formation and spiritual community and this quote rang true. However, I had a problem. I didn’t know what to do with it practically. Theologically I had been formed to understand the Church as consisting of everyone who called Jesus “Lord and Savior.” Did that mean this large ambiguous and amorphous group of people with vastly different beliefs, values and practices was to spiritually nurture and form me as my “Mother?” If so, did that mean I would have to “pick and choose” which elements would form me and my family?

As my family and left professional ministry, I began constructing a somewhat eclectic Christian spirituality drawing from sources I thought were important. N.T. Wright formed my theological foundation. Dallas Willard and others constructed an individual rule of life for my spiritual formation. The Vineyard shaped my practice of worship and spiritual gifts. The Emerging Church formed a vision for relevant mission. Our house church filled the need for deep spiritual community.

But as I journeyed further with my family and friends, I sensed significant gaps in my eclectic spirituality. Would my own ability to gather and meld these various elements together really develop the fullness of Christ’s life in me, my family and my community? As much as I wanted to believe it would, deep down I knew that I was not smart enough, creative enough, knowledgeable enough or spiritual enough to lead myself and others into the genuine life of Christ. I’m talking about the deep authentic life of Christ in which the core of who we are is radically transformed so that we consistently think and act naturally like Jesus. Everything I did seemed so… shallow.

So while I was much further along than I had been my entire Christian life, I knew myself well enough to admit that my abilities created a very low ceiling. I did not have what I or my family needed to lead and train us ultimately into the deep wellspring of Christ’s life and likeness.

Over the last nine months, our family has been exploring Orthodox Christianity. And while there are elements that are still very strange and foreign and even difficult to accept, I am convinced that we have finally found what our hearts have been longing for. I truly believe that in the Orthodox Church, we have found the very fullness of Christ’s life. There is absolutely nothing lacking in Orthodox worship and life. No assembly or batteries required.

I want to say this again. We have found FULLNESS. Nothing needs to be added or changed or supplemented or created or re-envisioned or recaptured.

During my 20+ years as an Evangelical, I have never experienced this before. Instead, I have witnessed wave upon wave of spiritual fads and enthusiasms washing over us — worship, Church growth, spiritual warfare, spiritual gifts, renewals, spiritual formation, leadership models, books, and conferences.

But not anymore; not for me and my family. We have found Christ’s Church — the fullness of his life embodied throughout the ages and generations from Christ himself to the present. And today, our family is one step closer to living in the reality of St Cyprian’s quote. The Church will be our Mother, truly nurturing and forming us to embody the life and likeness of Christ as she has unchangingly through the ages.

Taking the Plunge

On Monday night, Debbie and I met with Fr Patrick and Kh Christina to let them know that our family is ready to become catechumens. For those unfamiliar with the process, catechumens are those whom the Orthodox Church receives as now preparing to join the Orthodox Church through baptism or chrismation. Up to this point, we have been recognized as inquirers, those interested in and learning about the Orthodox Church. But this coming Sunday morning, we turn a major corner in our journey into Orthodoxy as we officially enter the catechumenate.

Fr Patrick told us that the major distinction between inquirers and catechumens is a shift from information to formation. As inquirers we have been gathering information about the Orthodox Church. Now that we have decided to bring our family and lives into Orthodoxy, the process changes to preparing us to enter and engage in the full life of the Church. Our preparation during this time will focus primarily on preparing for confession and receiving our first Eucharist.

Why these two area? First, confession prepares us to fear the Lord and to enter into a life of humility. The foundation to spiritual growth is authentic repentance and humility before God. Confession is the sacrament and spiritual discipline that will help us learn by grace this valuable trait.

Second, the Eucharist is THE center of worship and life. It is THE moment when we truly have communion with the living God, taking his actual presence into our bodies and thus becoming his Body in the world.

So after spending nine months at St Peter the Apostle Antiochian Orthodox Church, we are ready to take the plunge into Holy Orthodoxy. In many ways, what our family has been doing can be likened to the journey a couple takes toward marriage. Our time as inquirers was like dating, spending lots of time getting to know both Orthodoxy and the people at St Peter’s. This Sunday, we will be “engaged.” Having gotten to know Orthodoxy and St Peter’s these several months, we are convinced that this is where Christ has been leading our family. And like any newly engaged couple, we’re excited, but also a bit nervous. As Fr Patrick told us Monday night, Orthodox Christianity is invasive (as authentic Christianity should be). It fills and transforms every part of our lives. As we anticipate our new life as Orthodox Christians, we still have many questions that will be answered further along in our journey. But we know we have made the right decision and look forward to our full reception into the Orthodox Church in the next several months through baptism or chrismation.

Laser-Tagging

The Last Single-Digit Birthday!

Today, my youngest child, Christopher, turned NINE YEARS OLD! Happy Birthday, Chris!

Chris is such a charming, witty and observant young man. He has always had an incredible comedic timing and I love laughing at his humor. And there are times when we’re talking that I forget he’s only nine. I have enjoyed watching him grow up and I’m proud to be his dad.

Below is a video I took of him about five years ago. He had such a cute lisp when he was four.

what-do-i-say-again_1

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And in a flash, he’s nine!

To help celebrate his birthday, Debbie worked late into the night baking cupcakes. Then she and the kids worked hard this morning transforming them into “hamburger” cupcakes to take to Chris’ class. They turned out great.

  

Next year, all of my kids will be in the double-digits. I miss my babies. But I love my kids and I’m so thrilled by the kind of wonderful men and women they are growing into.

Monrovia Canyon Park

We just got home from hiking at Monrovia Canyon Park. It was a very nice time despite the muggy weather. The trail was only about 3/4 mile, ending at a small waterfall. Below are a few photos.

  

We had to be careful because there was a lot of poison oak and poison ivy on the edges of the trail.

After our hike, we had lunch at the picnic area. There were a few families doing the same. When we had finished eating, we heard Dani yell, “There’s a bear.” Sure enough, down by the flimsy fence acting as a perimeter for the picnic area was a young brown bear. The family nearest the bear got up in shock. And then Christopher, our youngest, runs at full speed towards the bear. We started yelling, “Chris, get back here!” And he yells back, “It’s okay, there’s a fence.”

What he didn’t know was that there was a hole in the fence about six feet from where the bear was. I was able to get a video clip of the bear coming through the fence. That’s when Chris panicked and started running away. So in the clip you can hear people telling him to stop running.

A visit from a bear.

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The bear was only interested in rummaging through the trash and eventually made its way across the parking lot and into another area of the woods.

What a fun and exciting day!

Happy Birthday, Danielle!

Today, my youngest daughter, Danielle, turned eleven years old! She is such a wonderful young girl. She loves to design clothes and cooking. And she has an infectious giggle.

We celebrated her birthday with a Pizza & Pool Party for her and a few of her friends. And her birthday cake was a yummy Black Forest Cake topped with relighting candles. We’re so mean.

 

We love you, Danielle! We’re so proud of you!

Happy Anniversary!

Today, Debbie and I celebrate nineteen years of marriage! She is not only my wife and mother of our children, but my best friend. There isn’t a person in this world I’d rather be with than Debbie. I miss her every morning when I leave for work and look forward each day to reuniting with her in the afternoon. Because of Debbie, I’m a better man. And I’m daily amazed at how she can bear the wounds of my insensitivity, selfishness and sin and still give herself wholly to me for the rest of her life. She is truly God’s gift to me. She incarnates beauty, compassion, wisdom, courage and so many other tremendous qualities. I love you, Deb!

The following picture was taken when we were dating about twenty years ago. (Yeah, I know I had big hair back then.)

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Quote from Our Church’s Bulletin

There are a lot of little details that I thoroughly enjoy about Orthodoxy in general and our local parish, St. Peter’s, specifically.

One of the things I enjoy at St. Peter’s is our church bulletin. Each week, the bulletin is about seven pages long and contains that Sunday’s Gospel and Epistle readings, congregational responses, information about upcoming events, fasts and feasts, information about the lives of specific saints and thought-provoking and challenging articles and quotes.

Debbie read me one of the quotes from this week’s bulletin that was tucked away on the back cover:

“The reason [that we don't all become saints] is within us. Firstly, due to our bad intent. Secondly, due to our neglect and laziness. Thirdly, due to the lack or complete absence of love for God and the things of heaven. Fourthly, due to our complete love of money, our devotion to material things, and our low-mindedness.”
Elder Philotheos of Paros

This quote struck me like something a coach would say to an aspiring athlete who, though full of potential, had grown complacent. In fact, it reminded me of something St. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27:

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

And in 1 Timothy 4:7, he tells St. Timothy, “Train yourself to be godly.”

Yes, we are called to be saints in the Bible. But the Bible also calls to train into actually becoming saints. It’s great to be part of a church community that takes this call very, very seriously.

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Changing Our Lifestyle

Our family is gradually learning that living a Christ-following life in the Orthodox Church requires a significant change in lifestyle. There are daily rhythms, weekly rhythms as well as extended spiritual seasons that we observe.

For example, our family’s daily rhythm is being restructured around times of prayer, especially morning and evening prayers. When school was in session, Debbie was leading the kids in the morning prayers and usually every night I try to lead the kids in the evening prayers. These include crossing ourselves as well as performing the metania, a bow with the right hand grazing the floor followed by crossing oneself.

Also each week our family is learning to observe fasting with the Church every Wednesday and Friday. During these days, we refrain from any meat (including eggs), any dairy products, wine and olive oil. I didn’t realize how especially tough fasting on Fridays would be. Also, Orthodox Christians observe a total fast from all food and drink and practice silence and contemplation from Saturday night to Sunday morning in preparation to receive the Holy Eucharist. (Since we’re not Orthodox Christians yet and cannot receive the Eucharist, we’re not observing this total fast.)

The entire weekly rhythm in Orthodoxy centers around the Eucharist. At that moment in the Divine Liturgy, the bread and wine actually transfigure into the Body and Blood of Jesus. It’s a moment when heaven and earth absolutely and truly intersect. I like how Frederica Mathewes-Green describes it in her book, “On the Corner of East and Now”:

“In a few hours, heaven will strike earth like lightning on this spot. The worshippers in this little building will be swept into a divine worship that proceeds eternally, grand with seraphim and incense and God enthroned, ‘high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple’ (Isaiah 6:1). The foundations of that temple shake with the voice of angels calling ‘Holy’ to each other, and we will be there, lifting fallible voices in the refrain, an outpost of eternity. If this is true, it is the most astonishing thing that will happen in our city today.”

By receiving the very Body and Blood of Jesus, the Church, Christ’s Body, communes with Christ and takes his presence into itself and then into the world. So this moment is the climax of the Orthodox Christian’s week and therefore, the weekly rhythm of individual and corporate fasting, prayers and other spiritual disciplines sweep the Church up like a wave catches a surfer to the shore.

And there are seasonal rhythms in the Orthodox Church. We were amazed at the journey through Lent and Pascha. And beginning August 1, we enter another season of fasting in anticipation of the Dormition of the Theotokos. This fast lasts two weeks and will be our family’s first extended fast together. We’ve been gradually including our kids in the various fasts so far. We think they’re ready. So beginning on Friday, we will fast together — no meat and eggs, no dairy, no olive oil and no wine.

In many ways, these rhythms are like athletic training. They tone us and strengthen us by teaching us to die to ourselves through small things like food and by teaching us to commune with God through small things like morning and evening prayers. I love this about Orthodoxy. It’s in the small things that we actually grow into Christ. Spiritual formation into Christ’s likeness or theosis is accomplished not by staggering spiritual moments, but by faithfulness and obedience to Christ in daily life. And having daily, weekly and seasonal rhythms provide the framework for this work.

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Riding Bikes

We had a nice relaxing evening with dinner and then letting the kids ride bikes and scooters at Deb’s parents’ home. I like summer.

Posting from My iPhone

WordPress released their iPhone app, allowing blog posts from iPhones. With that and Twittelator, I can post my thoughts and activities from virtually anywhere, which I’m doing right now.

Fr Stephen & “The Habit of Prayer”

Ahhh… prayer. Who doesn’t struggle at prayer? And underneath that struggle are all sorts of motivations and compulsions, most of them probably unhealthy and distorted.

Fr Stephen has a great post about prayer. But those who read this blog know that I love virtually everything Fr Stephen posts. I was going to post an excerpt from the post below, but all of it was so good and I couldn’t decide what part to post here. So… go read it HERE. Enjoy.

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Happy Independence Day!

It’s about 11 pm and we just arrived home from a full day. We spent the morning relaxing. Then we drove out to my parents’ home to pick up Michael, who has spent the last few days with them. Then we drove home and went swimming at Debbie’s sister’s home. Then we cleaned up, bought food and headed over to Debbie’s parents’ home for a BBQ with them and Deb’s sister’s family. We followed up the BBQ with fireworks!

I’ve posted several photos of the pyrotechnic action below.

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Mandles!

My wife found a great Youtube video. It’s a mock-commercial for Mandles — candles for men. These babies are 1% wax and 99% testosterone. Check out the video below.

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Only Begotten Son

I absolutely love singing this song during Divine Liturgy. I always look forward to it and my heart soars every time we sing it. There is so much beauty, history and faith in this confession.

 

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